The inevitable blog about homesickness –for lack of a better term.

I don’t think I’ve ever gone this long without seeing my little sister since she was born!

I’m hoping that in the time it takes me to write this all out, a new term will have come to mind that describes the feeling better than “homesickness”.
Basically, if you ask me if I’m homesick, I’ll say no.  If you ask me if I have been at all, I’ll probably say “yeah, I guess a little every once in awhile”. But it’s not that easy to describe.  I will attempt to show you what I mean with a series of scenarios:
1. Once in awhile something will remind me of home. And I’ll have a slight pang of longing for that something.  Then it will go away and I’ll be on my merry way.
2. Something will pose an irritating challenge (such as not being able to find free water or the microscopic size of coffee that doesn’t come with chocolate) that make me miss the way some things are in the States.

This is a pretty decent sized cup for France.

3. I’ll talk to a friend on Facebook and miss them specifically.
4. I’ll see events or exciting things going on at school from e-mails or Facebook and I’ll miss the WOU community.
5. Hard day, need a hug from family.
6. Start thinking about classes I’ll be taking or where I’ll be living when I get back and get really excited to be back.
7. As well as the excitement of reuniting with people and catching up.
8. And the excitement of experiencing the States and home and everything as a new person, who has changed and learned and experienced so much in the last few months. There are some things I’ll never look at the same.

But then I remember once I leave here I may very well never be coming back. And I imagine that when I get home, I will miss it here and my new friends far more than I miss home right now, because I don’t have a return ticket to Europe. I try to avoid the time that I spend looking forward to being home because I know once I’m there, I’ll just want to come back.

Basically, all of these fleeting moments combined, just make me wish I could combine to two lives and two places and have a perfect, made up, best of both worlds. Don’t we all imagine “the perfect world”?

So let me explain the title. This originated because I couldn’t think of the right word and in the process, ended up coming up with some acronyms. The one that seemed to best describe the feeling was
HSWOAWTGHRN-HomeSick WithOut Actually Wanting To Go Home Right Now…Or just
HWWTGH – Homesick Without Wanting To Go Home. But that has no vowels and there for is way harder to say. So I did some revising and settled on,
HOWTAGH – Homesick (with)Out Wanting To Already Go Home. I know it’s a stretch but try saying it out loud while imagining feeling the way I described above. It’ll do.
Feel free to send me better ideas!

Angers at night.

Emily

(Title – John Fogerty)
I am trying really hard not to hold a grudge against the pilot that flew us away from Dublin, Ireland. But it’s hard. The past week had been one of my best vacations ever and I was not exactly looking forward to going back to France and starting class. Writing that makes me feel so much more guilty than I already do.  I should be ecstatic to go back to the country I chose to study abroad in and should be excited to get back to studying the language. I suppose to clarify; exactly what I was not looking forward to was sitting in class instead of hiking or exploring and feeling timid when needing to talk to the less friendly French people in my second language instead of the overly helpful Irish people in English. I did, however, miss speaking French and enjoying French meals with my host family.
Getting back was really weird. It was an interesting adjustment. When we first got to Ireland it was hard to remember we could speak English, yet it wasn’t home. Returning to France was interesting as well because we were going back to something familiar, yet still not home. Ireland is more similar to the States so that was a quick adjustment. And actually, since we are comfortable with Angers, that shift was fairly quick as well. What was particularly strange to come home to was everything being the same except having a different roommate. Here we have our own room and we know our host parents, etc. but there was a new face and a missing face. Real classes started the very next day and that was going to be yet another change to swallow. It’s amazing how starting over so many times so close together wears you out.  It is comforting to know that when I get officially home, people already know me and I know them.

On day 1, we got up, got dressed and ate breakfast as usual. Then the three of us, now Maddy instead of Brittany, walked to the tram and caught it with perfect timing.

This is us. On the tram. Making horrible faces has become a common practice. Obviously this wasn’t taken on this first day that I mentioned, but it seemed fitting to include here.

The rest of the day was mostly orientation that got me excited to be back and got my French brain working again and allowed some time to exchange travel stories with friends. A hurtle that I hadn’t anticipated was mixing new friends with old. I had been really excited to meet the new AHA students and feel as though I had a “group” or at least some more fellow Oregonians because many of the other Americans during September came with groups from their schools.  However, these students have been in Angers since the beginning of October, and while I was gallivanting around in Ireland on vacation, they all had orientation and bonding time.  Now I, as well as the other September program students, have returned and there is a divide that I felt stuck in the middle of. I’m eager for classes to get sorted out and for the new AHA arrivals to meet and click with the other students I met in September.
Here’s to having a great semester, getting the correct credits, seeing some cool places, meeting more cool people and learning a cool language!

Day two was better. I’m getting closer to a conclusion on which classes to take with the appropriate balance of desire to learn the subject and credit need. I also was able to meet more of the new AHA students! On an entirely unrelated note, I desperately need some water proof shoes. And just a highlight from the day, attempting to explain Sour Cream in French to our host parents.

*Later*

It is now the end of week two since returning to Angers. The first week of classes was just a trial run of testing out which classes we thought we might want to take. It was nice that it wasn’t quite official school yet so I didn’t have too much homework, thus time to get to know the others. Lunch is no longer provided, so now I just buy groceries to store in the AHA office and get to eat in the lounge with the others. It’s really nice to have a place to go during breaks and a fridge because I save time and money. Another thing that we came to find is that having white skin is a minority in our classes of international students. The Chinese students outnumber the rest of us combined.

Week two was our first sample of the now routine life.  Finally! A schedule that will stay the same! I’m not taking too many hours because I want to have time to explore the city and do other things while I’m here and not spend all of my time in class or doing homework.  It was really hard to decide on which electives I wanted.
Here is what I ended up with:
-I have the regular “Langue” class which is just appropriate level, general learning like 301 or 202 or something like those.
– Comprehension Orale – basically listening and understanding practice. For some reason, that is one of my biggest struggles here so I hope that class will help. The teacher is fantastic!
-Expression Theatrale – Acting! This is like acting class in French! So much fun. I am the only Caucasian person in this entire class which I’ve never experienced before either. I’m really enjoying not only practicing acting techniques, but learning French and practicing pronunciation at the same time!
-Grammar – Because mine is horrible.
-Finally, my culture class. This was a difficult decision. History of France, Art History and France au Quotidian (general daily life) are the classes offered by the school, all of which sounded interesting! Also, my study abroad program, offers two courses with a visiting professor just for AHA students.  I settled on Regional Cultures and Languages with the visiting professor. This class is unfortunately taught in English and at lunch time but there is an additional discussion hour in a café for speaking French.  I’ve already learned a ton about the local divisions and sections within France.

A couple high lights from the first two weeks of October:

Listen to this. One Friday evening (the 12^th of Oct.), I went to see a movie. IN Angers! So that means the movie was in French. Plus, it was a sequel to a movie I hadn’t seen. Sounds like I’m doomed right? Well, guess what? I understood! It happened to be an action movie which helped….a lot (Taken 2). I’m just so excited that I went to a movie in French and left without permanently damaged self-esteem! It was super strange and kind of distracting however since it was an American movie and US places and the lips were saying English words. I was willing the voice to be speaking English. But once I got past that. It was great. It was pretty much exactly like going to a theater in America except everything was in French, people were quieter and the seats were way comfier.

The following Sunday, Carina and I went ice-skating in the Angers rink!

Carina is a great teacher 🙂

Let me tell you, French boys know how to make the best out of a few hours of free skate time. So entertaining! Hockey and jumps and races AND break dancing! Seriously, tiny french boys break dancing in hockey skates on ice. Then miss Carina Wade became a celebrity by doing fancy figure skating turns and such! All of that entertainment for 6 euros. So much for there being nothing but Church and McDonald’s open on Sundays in Europe! 😀

Luckily the weekend had been pretty restful because class from 9-2:30 with no lunch break on a Monday is a long haul. But having the whole afternoon off is wonderful! Monday the 15^th I managed to make a hair cut appointment for the next day! I am pretty sure we were on the same page about what I was asking for but I guess I’ll find out after it’s trimmed.

Before

After. (But it never looks like this when I do it. I don’t have a hair dryer here).

Lost in Translation:

Sometimes I want to complain that the extremes of having good French speaking/understanding days and bad French days are hard on my self-esteem, but then I decide not to curse it and just appreciate that the good days exist!

Example of the week, I tried to explain (in French) to two Chinese boys, in from of the whole class of other Asian students that my eyes change colors. They were not satisfied with my response to their inquiries of “how?!” and “why?!”. I was at a loss.

Later however, I had an experience that was not lost. I got to compare the American capital cursive letters to the French capital cursive letters while talking to a French man on the tram whose father lived, worked and died in Eugene!

So, after a bit of déjà vu starting over again in the same place doing the same things, and going through orientation with the new students and meeting new people in a familiar place, I’ve settled in and gotten comfortable with the changes and even felt like the expert once or twice!

After Ice-skating we walked part way home and enjoyed the sunset.

Bisous
Emily

Day 2: Left on Rue Bressigny….I think.

This is not Rue Bressigny but it is a street from the walking tour!

The feeling of “Where am I?!” when I woke up was brief, how could I forget?! I got ready and went downstairs to the breakfast and coffee spread that would greet me each day. Our host dad drove us to the school for the first day and it was a lot further than we expected. The drop off at the front door was wonderful since we had no idea where we were going.

First view of the school after being dropped off

I was relieved to have Brittany with me and we managed to find the office. For orientation this month, there were only 3 of us which made things go smoothly and quickly.  It was exciting to meet our third Westcoastian, Jocelyn (from Cali/U of O). There was all the information I wanted and more in a little packet for me. After some introduction we ate Sheppard’s Pie in a cafeteria I was also going to become very familiar with.
Full, acquainted and curious we set off on a tour of Angers. A former student that was visiting came along and offered another first hand perspective getting us more excited to explore and experience.

Soft Bar. One of the 3 recommended. Guess I’m in Europe where directors tell you which bars are best to go out to with the teaching assistants on Wednesday night…

Our heads spinning with café names, prices at shoe stores and times to see movies, we called it a day after un pause-café (a coffee break).

In case you are interested. Rebelle is playing at the theater on Foch street.

We returned home on the lovely, fairly new city tram to have dinner and meet our new roommate from Kansas, Carina! She had a different hair color than when we briefly met her the day before, but details aside, she seemed to be a pretty cool person that would be a good addition to the American possy forming in our Angers suburb. And by that, I mean that we live in a house in a town called Avrille about 40-50 minutes from the city with two people that do not speak English. So, the three of us would become quite a team.
As I fell asleep that night, I was very excited, sort of lost, not nervous enough for the placement test and most importantly, the DODs had vanished.

The next thing I remember was thinking, “There is no way I’m awake right now.” My bed was way too big and way too comfortable and an 8:30am placement TEST was not exactly motivation to get up. TOO BAD! The lecture hall was cramped and stuffy and my brain was empty and fuzzy. And that is how I took the two hour test. Needless to say, it didn’t go so well and I left regretting more than anything taking time off.
Afterward, I was quickly distracted with a field trip to Anger’s very own Chateau.

It had a moat with a garden!

It is beautiful and famous for its collection of ancient tapestries. Honestly though, I was equally amused by my classmates as I was the site itself. Having been traveling around for the past few weeks, I’d seen a lot of cool places and not that that made this Chateau any less cool, it was just slightly less novel. I loved having the new arrivals around (whenever we went anywhere) because their enthusiasm and awe was contagious! I realize I say that with the risk of sounding, oh I don’t know, pretentious, but I hope you know what I mean. I appreciated Brittany and Jocelyn’s appreciation because it reminded me to keep appreciating and not get so comfortable that I begin to take it for granted.
After the visit, the rest of the day was spent shopping around town, including one important stop. Sue, the site direction, found a dance studio for me to check out! We stopped by and I took a look around and got some questions answered. A DANCE STUDIO! HOORAY! I was craving ballet and here was my opportunity. A few blocks from school with hours that worked at a decent price and in France!!! Fun fact, it is NOT called “ballet” here. Go figure. I was told that “ballet” is an English word when I asked the other (French) dancers. For your future reference, it is “la danse classique”.

This is the entrance to the ballet studio. After going through a tunnel thing from the main road. To the left is the actual dance floor!

That evening, we had dinner together with our host parents, and I just can’t get over the meals here. They are so much fun, perhaps my favorite part of the day and so very different from home. Then, we got further settled in and prepared for day one of classes with our new French school supplies! I love my little French planner. I am probably too excited about it!

Yay! Planner is the black one that says “J’aime” on the front. Which is the same as “Like” when your facebook is in French! This picture also includes that packet of supplies and info from Sue.

I got in bed a whole lot more excited and a whole lot more comfortable that before. And slept, and dreamt of Sugar Plum Fairies.

Day 3: Bisous bisous! “Kisses, kisses!”
I report my feelings here, “Because paper has more patience than people. ” –Anne Frank.
It’s true. I’ve come to really enjoy blogging during this trip. In this case however, I am short on time to write and when the following story actually occurred, there were some pretty wonderful people with open ears, as much patience as paper, and with more kind words in return.

Class placement was listed. I couldn’t decide if I wanted to write about this or not but it was a significant event so why not, pourquoi pas! I guess I was surprised, disappointed and therefore upset about being placed in such a low level. That’s what I get for taking time off and not reviewing for the test.  However, not 5 minutes into my class it was evident I was incorrectly placed. The professor gladly signed my level change paper and I went to complete the paper work. Long story short, the man I met with was horrified that I wanted to move up. Curse my double A last name, he remembered me. The worse, most humiliating part was him telling me my test was absolutely awful. Over and over he told me I did bad and didn’t know anything. Even worse, he was speaking rapid French and being upset; I proved his point by asking “comment? (what?)” about twice per sentence. But eventually he did move me up and I left with the lowest self-esteem I’ve had in awhile, and eager to prove I belonged in my new level. When I got home, my plan to hide in my room was thwarted by an entourage of women. My host mom invited me to “Jus d’orange” Orange juice in the yard with them and asked how my day had been. I couldn’t tell them without breaking down. Their response to my story was animated. The complimented me and my French and assured me I spoke well. One woman even picked up the fly swatter and threatened the (by my American standards) blunt and impolite man. I had never met them before but my substitute moms fed me chocolate and turned my day around!

Moving on…

Lost in Translation….reversed roles!

Now it’s my turn. I’m the one saying silly things and making native speakers or other students giggle.

“We are arrived at late. Maybe 20 minutes. Sorry. See you later.” –Me (leaving a voicemail for my host mom)

“Is there free?” –Jocelyn (Pointing and inquiring if the news paper is free or not)

hehe

“Hello, It was Emily”- Me (when answering the phone)

And countless others that shall go unmentioned.

And just a note:

“wee-fee” = wifi
“Gross Keully” = Grace Kelly
Russie = Russia
“Alfrid Itch cook” = Alfred Hitchcock
Useful information.

7 Minutes and a Beeeeep

As I mentioned, the Berthelot’s house is a bit of a commute outside of town. We have options for transportation though. The first day, we were carefully shown our options. There’s a bus and a new tramway. The tram is a further walk but a smoother, nicer ride. The bus is closer but not as new and comfortable. I would just decided based on shortest commute time, but they end up about the same. Maybe when the weather gets worse I’ll switch to the bus, but for now I like the tram. It comes about every 7 minutes in the morning on weekdays and I often have to wait less than 3 or 4. Plus, I get to use my fancy tram pass which makes a very satisfying “you’ve been accepted” beep sound when scanned.

Our beautiful rainbow tram!

And the inside. Which never looks like this. I just took the picture late at night so innocent French people didn’t end up in some American girl’s blog.

Bread and Pressure

France. Where baguettes are an accessory. Now, that sounds like a tagline of whatever that you would hear as a joke or something but I’m not kidding. People really do just carry bread around in hands, purses, bags, etc, all the time! And it’s perfectly normal. The problem is, if that were a habit I was to bring home, people wouldn’t believe me and claim I was just trying to act French.
I sadly have no pictures to support this.

I may have already mentioned my English is suffering, but bear with me, at least I haven’t yet converted to writing in bad Franglaise (the word in French for mixing French and English). Speaking of French I found it interesting that it is way harder for me to understand when the person is talking directly to me. The pressure of having to understand becomes so much and so distracting that I end up understanding nothing. It is so much easier when I can just listen to a conversation between other people. Which makes sense, but it’s still annoying.  More positively, obtaining a second language makes me appreciate my knowledge of my mother tongue. It’s fun to speak in English and feel so smart when I use slang or big words. In fact, in a way my English may be improving. That is, when I’m not spelling things the French way or mixing up grammar rules and expressions!

Listen to your Elders

This is from a day I’ll talk about later, but it is of my host parents and their friends who are also host parents. Jean is the second from the right and Therese is the second from the left! (Carina – my roommate is far right).

So, not only are my host parents a different nationality and speak a different language, they are a very different generation. Both in their 70s, they have grown kids and grand children older than me. In my own experience, sometimes elderly folks can be difficult to understand of explain things to even when speaking English. They may have a different way of talking or just mumble a bit. That is in addition to their native speaker habits, such as breaking grammar rules and abbreviating. I am thankful that they are used to having students around and for the most part, consciously speak slower and clearly for us. They admitted that the shortcuts are difficult to learn.

While I’m on the subject, it isn’t just the way they talk that reminds me of my own grandparents. There are plenty of behaviors too. Once I accepted that age was another hurtle, I became a lot more entertained and a lot less frustrated with myself. It isn’t just my French skills that are a barrier.

Life is happening faster than I can write about it. Soon, I’ll write about my classes and the excursions we have gotten to go on!

A really old house place in Le Centre Ville Angers

A bientot!

Emily