After being away from the U.S for five weeks, I was wondering how it would feel like to approach my country of birth again. Arriving in the airport in Houston, TX was already an eye opener with regards to how busy things get in the airport. Everyone always seemed liked they were in a rush (though that is not a good example of U.S behavior that surprised me; Airports are usually very busy). I think what really took me aback was that I was back in a country where my native language was being spoken. I frequently had to rely on my Spanish in Mexico, so this new transition feels weird, but somewhat reassuring. I can understands conversations now like they were second nature, not like something I need to constantly keep my brain turned on for. It also felt good to be back at Portland and later in Hood River because I know the places and felt more comfortable in getting food more readily and just to take in the familiar sights as well. The idea of drinking water from the tap was a nice change of pace as well, in addition to not having to worry about sharing food with a large family, there always seems like there is more to go around now.

I can see the potential risk to being back here and having Spanish be not quite needed to the extent as it was in Mexico. However, I do live in a household where I can speak Spanish and many people from the neighborhood speak the language too, so I do not think I am too much in a risk. I am a little worried I will get too lax and end up forgetting to study. All my entertainment is here and I have my truck here so I can go anywhere and have a fun time. I reckon everyone usually has that problem when they are on vacation and at home.

The differences in the resources between the two countries were very different, but I think I have come to appreciate what both countries have to offer, especially my own country after being back for a few days now. If I had more funds, I would love to return to Mexico again, possibly see some new places. Until then, I will enjoy my time here with family and friends. After all, I could not imagine a life without them.

With my program reaching its end. I definitely have no doubt in my mind that my feelings have changed since I have last left the U.S. I was overcome with many different emotions: the idea of being alone in a foreign place without any of my family close by, meeting new people for the first time, and being immersed in a whole new place where English is not the first language.

Now that I have been here for five weeks, I feel bad that I did not feel more excited about coming to Mexico because it is a great place to live with some great qualities to it. I honestly was nervous because I had no idea what to really expect. People are unpredictable, as such I try to avoid any conceptions before actually meeting someone or multiple people. At the very least, I imagined that my host family would be kind and help me feel accustomed. For the most part, I was right. I was blessed with a great host family who treated me well. I was hoping they would be a family I could talk and interact with when the time is right and this turned out to be the case. I did not see myself speaking with the locals too much since I am cautious around strangers, but I wanted to at least interact with some people, and I am glad I did in the end.

As for my feeling about returning, I am very excited to see my mother again and eventually my close friends as well. I feel as though, no matter where I am, I will always feel a sense of emptiness when I am not at home in Oregon. It is for that reason that I believe I could never live far from home, it would be too hard in my opinion. I do have mixed feelings though. I feel like just when I have really started to feel at home here, I already need to leave. I feel like I have developed a sense of place here, and it is ashame that I have to leave now when I am not so busy with homework and studying. It is funny, but I am filled with emotions just like in the beginning. The difference this time is that I am not nervous or scared of being Mexico, but actually a bit sad to leave. I believe all abroad programs are like this. One develops the sense of a second home and they must feel bad for having to leave it. It truly is funny how the world works at times.

The time in Mexico continues to pass by, and by this time, I start seeing that my time has not been completely well-spent. My upbringing has made me pretty shy with regards to going out and getting others to accompany me to places. I believe my host mom recognizes that too and has urged me lately to get out and experience more of the culture of Mexico. I have been to a few places already, but I know there is more I can still do. Another student from the U.S has joined us in the household and he is more extroverted than myself. He is always on the move and ready to explore. I cannot help but feel kind of envious. Nevertheless, the other student has helped me to get out and explore more of the city and we have even walked my host mother’s dog who has not gotten a walk in many weeks. We observed some wonderful art done on the streets near the roads and the steady stream that may be would have more of a common sight in France due to its calm appearance and rather wide length as well.  The “Mural” art was another aspect that captured my attention as well. in addition to the museum relics and art, the murals are quite prevalent in Mexican culture, and I thought the ones I saw were really well done and showcased the artistic side of the culture quite well.    We ended up going to a park and some were actually set up a bit like exercise equipment outside. I am not sure if they were wholly intended for the younger kids who come with their parents, but it seemed to be perfect for the other student to comically do exercise of his own. I think it may have been designed for those who maybe cannot go to the gym due to costs. I know Mexico is a country where the people make the most of what they have, and this is just one of many examples of its better qualities.

Classes continue to enlighten me more about the culture here in Mexico in different ways. In addition  to the usual practice with writing and learning of tenses, We learned about the different legends that exist in Mexico and how they can come in different versions. We were tasked with creating our own version, and I took the opportunity to notice how broad the legends are. From volcanoes and lakes, they each hold their old ideas and lessons that are fascinating: the concept of love and how its beauty can remain eternal, and the importance of obedience for the well being of oneself and the family around them. These lessons hold great importance in life, and the fact that they can be told via  legends is all the more reason to appreciate their existence. We also ended up learning more about the nature of superstitions and how prevalent they are in the culture as well. Many people in Mexico believe in superstitions and sometimes resort to utilizing the services of supernatural mediums to turn their lives around when things do not go so well for them. It was an interesting category to discuss since most people in Mexico are of religious (mostly Catholic) faith. Much like with parties, it serves as a means of alleviating the harshness that work and other responsibilities can bring.

With the countdown towards returning already well underway. I believe this last week will be the most interesting of all of the weeks so far, as well the most stressful

With another week gone by, I feel myself getting more comfortable with life here in Mexico. Of course now, right before my very eyes, I only have two weeks left. Even still, I have had plenty of chances to see a few new things and try some new things out.

One of the first things that caught my attention (for me anyway, since this is the first time I have actually put this service to use in a while), was the cab system here in Mexico. I never took a taxi before, not even in the United States. It was a good experience to see how the atmosphere would feel like. It was kind of small (especially for me), but it was managable. It also gave me an oppotunity to see how busy the streets usually are. i believed I may have mentioned it already, but streets in Mexico are usually pretty busy, at least those in the city. I could see myself making the relation to a more busy city area like Portland or Salem. The atmosphere is not too different, but things tend to be more close together, rather than more spacious. It made me wonder how tricky the parking must be. The less spacious feel is also reflected in the driving. Everyone seems so close together, I frequently worry a collision will occur, but many of the people here know how drive quite well in these situations. It also makes me think about the history of the designs and what their purpose was for making the stores and houses the way they are. Plus, there is also the question of the requirements for driving and how much more demanding they must be compared to the U.S. The taxi experience also leads to the my experience in a busy mall-like complex in Mexico.

A friend and I went to this mall in Mexico, and I was taken aback by its own similarities, as well as differences to the malls we have here. It was interesting that we discovered a fairly large parking lot area down in the bottom, it looked a lot like the ones that I usually see at the airport and other large complexes with lots of people either visiting or working. Upon actually visiting the inside, the appearance was uncanny. Plenty of food courts, game/book stores, and even a cinema too. We went to the cinema to watch the movie “Minions” and it was my first experience watching a feature length film in a theater in a different country. Since the movie was from America, I was kind of expecting the movie to be in English with subtitles in Spanish (I believe some movies released in other countries are like that), but the movie actually was dubbed in Spanish, which I think was better for the experience in the long run. The theater and the counter were organized in a similar way, though I think we were placed in specific before actually entering, however where we sat was still our choice,  I think this helps to control the sittings in the movie theater, and I think it is great for people to see if there are any good seats available, if not, then I am sure people would just choose not to go in the first place.  The rest of the places had some good food, though I d would not quite say it fit the typical Mexican style, it seemed a little more American. Though perhaps malls are usually good at attracting the tourists. Thankfully going back home was not too bad, in fact the taxi driver usually charge fifty pesos, which is roughly the equivalent to a little over three dollars.

Speaking of home, we actually had a visitor from the Peace corps visit our place and he was apparently living in the same place I was living in the past. His experience in Spanish was impressive; I could almost mistake him for a native speaker, even though he is an American. He studied abroad himself in Spain for five months and has been living in Mexico for two years. It really makes me think about the difference in experience between me and him. I have been exposed to Spanish practically my whole life, but John, the young man from the Peace corps has this natural flow to him that helps to really blend in. I was honestly a bit jealous. However, he has been using his Spanish for years, I am only here for five weeks, and I will keep practicing myself. If there is anything I have discovered, it would be that I need to continue practicing, because as a soon-to-be Spanish teacher, I need to be better. Maybe I will follow John’s lead and live abroad somewhere for a few years to improve my own language. Only the future knows for sure.

The second week saw the continuation of learning more from my classes and from my time with my host family, some good and some I am not proud of, but overall beneficial. The main highlight was the weekend excursion, which proved to be another wonderful way to see what kind of interesting things Mexico has in terms of culture. More than anything this was a week full of learning from different sources.

The classes built up more from the assignments from last week and I am feeling like things are moving full-force in terms of homework and projects. We have some big presentations in my Spanish Communciation class for fourth year and I am a bit nervous since they seem to be a bit on the long side. Since I am in my fourth year in Spanish, I believe it should be expected. It is actually funny since I sometimes have a hard time giving a presentation in English, but Spanish is a whole different beast. If there is one thing I have learned from my classes though, it would be that the environment can make a huge difference in how one feels about talking. My class is composed of just two students and the teacher. In this way, I feel like it is easier to voice my opinion and the things I want to say in general. While I am still nervous about what I will present. I feel like the informal, smaller size helps to ease the pressure a bit. The other class for writing helped us to learn more forms of tenses and other ways to better understand writing and the like. We ended up having a mid-term which I ended up doing well enough in. I can tell our teacher understands that we are learning, and I know full well that I need to study to do better (which is easier said than done, especially when I am used to turning my brain off in the summer time). In our ESOL class, we presented a cultural backpack and it gave us the chance to see how our cultures shape ourselves. I liked how I felt like I could really show who I was to my peers. It is something I do not normally do, because I always worry I am too different and I cannot relate to anybody at all. Everyone liked my presentation and I loved everyone’s presentations as well. I like how we learn more about culture and what we can do to make culture something meaningful in the class. I still wonder how can I make culture a meaningful thing in my class one day…Only time will tell.

As for time with my host family, it has been very good from my experience. I find that the environment gives me a feeling similar to my own house in Oregon. It gives a sense that everyone is fairly independent, at least in my case. I know they are usually busy with their kids every day which leaves them exhausted and tired. I also try talk to them when the time comes, though sometimes things get busy for everyone. The busy factor was the reason why I did not mention an incident involving some broken class in my room. I was not quite sure how it happened, but I tried to clean it up and take care of it myself. I think my host mother thought I was trying to hide something, but I did not want to disturb her when she was busy. I think we had some difficulties with communication this week. I do not think it put a strain on the relationship, but the difficulties are hard for me at times. I am not a fan of making mistakes. I am feeling better from the little incident though. I feel it is one of many important lessons about the importance of communication. My host my says that I am still young and that it is all right to make mistakes. It’s always so funny how much more hard I am on myself compared to other people.

Eventually, we went to the museums in Mexico D.F, which was the capital if I am not mistaken. We had our hotels reserved and ready and we were able to visit a few museums over the course of a few days. I am not too fond of museums or history either. However, I was able to enjoy some of the sites to an extent. I could see the intricate designs of the rocks, the faith in religion that is very rich in Mexican culture and the like. One of our professors named Alejandro gave us the history lessons about Mexico such as the origin of the paintings and the establishment of the country via events like Cortes and Indigenous people. The best part of the trip by far was visiting the pyramids and enjoying how well designed they were and the views that came with climbing. It left me even more worn-out than the trip to Bernal. It took a while to get back, but I was happy to return and see the family again. Since this trip took the whole weekend, I have plenty of catching up to do for my classes. Summer is always more difficult when homework is involved.

With the first week coming to an end, I have had the chance to see how my classes would be like and I feel like they both will end up being quite fun (except the homework, which is always hard to get excited about). All of my professors are kind and very much approachable, and I love that. It makes the transition to a new classroom setting easier. The cool thing is that I have the opportunity to practice Spanish in the class via plenty of discussion and all the learning of terms that I thought I knew, but really, I need to work on. The actual classrooms are not really as fancy as the United States, but it is not a major problem. I still have no problem learning from my professors. Honestly the only bad part about the classrooms are the overabundance of mosquitoes all over the place. I am seriously a walking three-course meal from a five-star restaurant to them. I can already feel the bites popping up on my arms. To be more specific, this only happens in my two Spanish classes. My ESOL one does not have this problem from what I have seen. The ESOL class is more like the classes back at Western, but since we are learning about culture, we have an excellent opportunity to see the differences of culture between the U.S and Mexico. I think the class is a nice way to balance the usage of English and Spanish here in Mexico, and the professor is kind as well, also easing some of the anxiety as well.

Living with the host family has been wonderful. They really help me feel more at home and I try my best to talk to them about their life or how their day was. It is very nice to have the opportunity to practice my Spanish, which is always so hard in the U.S. So much English, even at home sometimes. I have also had the chance to play with the grandchildren of my host mother. He is only two and half years old and the other one is only six months. Nevertheless, Raulito, the older one, is very cute and playful. Both kids are a real handful for my host family, usually to the point of leaving them exhausted at the end. It makes me think about my mother and her own job that leaves her very tired as well. I know they volunteered to take in an American student, but I just hope I do not end being much of a burden on them.

Once the weekend rolled around, our party went to the huge rocky point of Bernal by bus. Everyone mentioned how much of a climb it would be, so I decided to activate “Mountain Man mode” and prepare myself for the worst. Honestly, it was an endurance test. It was a major uphill right from the get-go and I was feeling very out of shape…Still I managed to find a nice view from my position (which was about seventy-five percent of the way up, according to one of my group members). I was very happy, and I was especially content with seeing more of the area of Mexico. It truly is a country with beautiful sights to see with little polluted air to breathe and smell. I always thought Mexico was more close to a developing type of place, as opposed to the developed country that is the U.S, but it has its share of huge cities like Queretaro amongst other places. Mexico appears to be a place where all kinds of people can be encountered in one place: the middle class, lower middle class, and people that do not appear to have much. A few times, I would see people always selling things in order to make make money. I think it might reflect on how hard life can be in Mexico when work is not always guaranteed. I try not to give people the impression that I have a lot of money on me (my clothing is usually bland and my boots look pretty worn out and filthy.). I still understand that times are tough, but I also know that it is important to keep one’s guard up so that they can avoid a dangerous situation. Mexico is a place with risks, but in reality, that is the same for all places in the world. Everyone is different, and I know that the longer I am here, the more I can understand about the rich culture that I am sure Mexico has.

The arrival to the house of my host family was one was certainly anxious for. I had never stayed with another family other than my mother and my girlfriend, but thankfully I was blessed with a kind family that was quick to take me under their wing. I was impressed by their house. It seemed very nicely designed with plenty of rooms to fill the needs of everyone; it was two floors and has a sort of living room upstairs, and the downstairs seems to serve as the place for “Comida”, the time for eating since it has the kitchen and a dining room as well. The rooms were upstairs and I had everything I needed in order to get settled in. Like with many other places in Mexico, my host family places much emphasis on family and the protection of the Virgin of Guadelupe. The family is reasonably close, though it seems like they do not mind doing things independently in their spare time. It is not that different from my house, actually. Nevertheless, I find my family one I can rely on when I need something in times of stress.

Upon arriving to the university, things begun to start rolling. I noticed that the classes were a lot like the ones back at Western: we had our plan and we had assignments in class. What was different was the class size. In one class, there was only two people: myself and another girl. In the other, there was five. It was such a different experience to have so few students in a class and honestly, I enjoyed this change. I felt like it was a little bit easier to be outspoken and to feel a connection with the professor in regards to the assignments. Even with the smaller class sizes in Western, it is not that common for me to be very outspoken. I feel like it is still too soon to say for sure, but I feel like I might be able to discover new learning styles that I have never had the chance to be exposed to before. I will have to wait and see if I can perform adequately.

After finishing class, I had the opportunity to explore the campus a bit with a fellow abroad student, and we discovered some interesting sites along the way. The university in Queretaro has many places that carry a sort of significance that seems to reflect the ideals of the school and possibly Mexico itself. There was the museum made over a hundred years ago. The statue of Juarez, I believe it was Benito Juarez the lawyer who was well known for the modernization of the country and  other contributions for the country’s over betterment. Mexico treats its history with plenty of respect. I know the U.S has its own famous landmarks, but Mexico has really helped me to be more aware of sites like these. I feel like I might learn more if I talk to others about it. Only time will tell how much more cultural knowledge I will obtain, in addition to bettering my Spanish.

When I first arrived in Mexico, my emotions were in a sort of tug-o-war. I was actually pretty excited to finally be in a new country, especially that appeared very developed like Queretaro. Actually arriving in the city, I knew exactly what was coming, a whole new set of challenges to overcome: getting used to the new set of rules the country and its culture has, the use of a language that I was still learning to be proficient at, and just trying to find out where everything is.

Honestly, I am still frightened about being here in Queretaro. Despite knowing some Spanish up to this point, I still wonder if I will be able to make it. I am also worried about getting everything in order to survive and getting from place to place without getting lost. I know these kinds of things will go away with experience, but still, it is something totally brand new that I am not used to. I still have not seen everything yet, as well as gotten all the tools, and there is still time before classes start and I begin living with my host family. Beneath all the anxiety, I believe, deep down, I am awaiting everything with intrigue. As the photos show, Queretaro is a big place, and given time, it can be quite a journey unlike I have ever experienced.

I think my host culture in Mexico will lead me to all kinds of new learning experiences that I never could have possibly learned here in the United States. Of course with learning, there is always the possibilities of making mistakes which is something I still need to learn how to handle, even now. The fact that it will be my first time in Mexico, so far from home, makes me very uncertain and nervous. I wish I felt more excited doing the program like everyone else is, but I think I might have to wait until I am actually there and in the routine before I can assure myself everything will be fine. Nevertheless, I am happy I have the opportunity to better my Spanish and to become immersed in an environment that places much importance into it. This will be a major experience in my life, and I know it will lead to incredible progress towards becoming more mature and more capable in the career path I have set for myself. With these improved skills, I hope to not just become a better Spanish speaker with better comprehension, but also one who is capable of communicating with the family that mostly knows Spanish (I was almost never able to do so before, since I only knew English). While many emotions may envelope me, I will still try my best to make this experience a positive one.

Images: Feelings of fear, of being overwhelmed with new challenges in a new place, and feeling of hope towards triumph.