By: Darien Campo Concerned Citizen Just last week SpaceX founder Elon Musk announced his plans to begin work on sending humans to the planet Mars by the year 2022-just six years from now. People around the globe are reacting to the news with excitement, rallying...
This week in completely made up horoscopes Compiled by Zoe Strickland Aries 3/21-4/19 This week is looking grim, Aries. For some unknown reason, all of your meal plan points are about to disappear. The stars are showing me piles and piles of ramen in your future....
By: Ashton Newton Entertainment Editor Campus clowns are nothing to be afraid of. Here are some tips to help you get through the epidemic: 1. Clowns are more afraid of you than you are of them. 2. There’s a small chance that the clowns are friendly and just want to...
By: Zoe Strickland NASA recently reminded all of us that they truly hold power over the stars. NASA scientists came forth with the information that there are actually 13 zodiac symbols, rather than 12. The ‘new’ zodiac, Ophiuchus, sits nestled in the winter months....
I’m here to predict the future for all you graduating students. And for those of you who aren’t graduating, please reference back to this in the six or so years it will take you to complete your undergrad. Aries 3/21-4/19 You will be the proud owner of five Taco...
Many students who are graduating at the end of this term are faced with the fact that they have a large amount of student loans to take care of after graduation.
The next company to show their support for the upcoming election is none other than Dasani, you know, the bottled water brand you buy because it’s cheaper than Smart Water.
Aries 3/21-4/19 Here is a random tweet to I found to guide you through your day. “When in doubt, just do the opposite of whatever the person wearing pajamas in public is doing.” -@Tmoney68 Taurus 4/20-5/20 The moons are telling me you’re prepping for summer,...
In a mom-and-pop dry cleaners in Dallas, Texas, it has been reported—and I use the term reported very loosely—that a man looking oddly similar to Ted Cruz was seen picking up some sort of Zodiac Killer-esque costume on May 5.
Aries 3/21-4/19 I’ve got a special treat for you this week, Aries. Orange mocha frappuccinos! Taurus 4/20-5/20 There is a very adorable caterpillar in your pocket. Gemini 5/21-6/20 The moons be dancin’ and singin’ in your favor, Gemini. You will not be hungover on May...
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