This week in entirely made up horoscopes

This week in entirely made up horoscopes

The Signs’ favorite class Aries: philosophy, so I can say my inner thoughts and still sound smart Taurus: Lunch hour  Gemini: animal psychology because it’s cooler than regular psychology Cancer: nap time… like in preschool  Leo: recess! Virgo: gender studies...

This week in totally made up horoscopes

This week in totally made up horoscopes

The Signs as cartoon characters Aries: stewie griffin Taurus: kenny mccormick Gemini: the street rat known as Aladdin Cancer: Edd aka double D Leo: Simba  Virgo: mordecai regular show Libra: porky pig  Scorpio: arnold perlstein (look it up) Sagittarius: bojack...

This week in completely made up horoscopes

This week in completely made up horoscopes

The signs if they were bugs: Aries: a large wet Western worm Taurus: dragonfly Gemini: firefly in a jar Cancer: Semi-aggressive mantis staring into your soul, test me…  Leo: C–ty little moth Virgo: Honey bee Libra: Pink sticky note with eight googly eyes on it...

This week in entirely made up horoscopes

This week in entirely made up horoscopes

The signs watch a horror movie Aries: imagining themselves as the final girl Taurus: ‘This is so dumb’ Gemini: laughing at the “scary” parts Cancer: passed out after the first 5 minutes  Leo: telling everyone they could survive each scenario Virgo: attracted to the...

This week in completely made up horoscopes

This week in completely made up horoscopes

What are the signs bringing to the picnic? Aries: cream cheese and cucumber finger sandwiches 🙂 Taurus: the ‘special’ brownies. Gemini: nothing but a fighting spirit against pollen Cancer: extra strong allergy meds  Leo: bringing the char-cootcherie board Virgo: A...

This week in completely made up horoscopes

This week in completely made up horoscopes

The signs during Spring break: Aries: CELEBRATING THEIR BIRTHDAYS RAHHHH Taurus: Doing nothing but cooking, sleeping and recovering  Gemini: already in hot girl summer gear Cancer: Thrifting a whole new wardrobe  Leo: Making friends with everyone at the beach Virgo:...

This week in entirely made up horoscopes

This week in entirely made up horoscopes

The signs go on a date… Aries: silently takes notes to debrief with the besties later Taurus: kum n go  Gemini: immediately exposes all of their red flags Cancer: Falls in love after being shown the absolute bare minimum Leo: has a mental breakdown and goes...

This week in entirely made up horoscopes

This week in entirely made up horoscopes

The signs walk into a bar… Aries: orders a shirley temple… extra cherries Taurus: Immediately turns around because the bartender is cute Gemini: tries to charm the bartender for free drinks (and fails) Cancer: sees a man and walks out… Leo: is this the punch...

This week is completely made up horoscopes

The Signs Snowed-in Aries: sleeping for 12 hours straight Taurus: debating on redownloading dating apps due to boredom Gemini: on the fourth rewatch of Grey’s Anatomy Cancer: Rearranging my room for the 100th time Leo: losing my mind. Virgo: ate shit on the ice...

This week in completely made up horoscopes

The signs go home for Thanksgiving: Aries: All I need are my cats and a mega-pint of wine Taurus: If I hear one more comment about my “holey” jeans I’m going to stuff myself into the turkey Gemini: STUFFING IS DISGUSTING… and no one can change my mind Cancer:...