I’m here to predict the future for all you graduating students. And for those of you who aren’t graduating, please reference back to this in the six or so years it will take you to complete your undergrad. Aries 3/21-4/19 You will be the proud owner of five Taco...
Many students who are graduating at the end of this term are faced with the fact that they have a large amount of student loans to take care of after graduation.
The next company to show their support for the upcoming election is none other than Dasani, you know, the bottled water brand you buy because it’s cheaper than Smart Water.
Aries 3/21-4/19 Here is a random tweet to I found to guide you through your day. “When in doubt, just do the opposite of whatever the person wearing pajamas in public is doing.” -@Tmoney68 Taurus 4/20-5/20 The moons are telling me you’re prepping for summer,...
In a mom-and-pop dry cleaners in Dallas, Texas, it has been reported—and I use the term reported very loosely—that a man looking oddly similar to Ted Cruz was seen picking up some sort of Zodiac Killer-esque costume on May 5.
Aries 3/21-4/19 I’ve got a special treat for you this week, Aries. Orange mocha frappuccinos! Taurus 4/20-5/20 There is a very adorable caterpillar in your pocket. Gemini 5/21-6/20 The moons be dancin’ and singin’ in your favor, Gemini. You will not be hungover on May...
Aries 3/21-4/19 Aries, the tattoo you just got on your left leg is spelled wrong. Check it, double check it, and show it to a friend over 30. I’m totally right. Taurus 4/20-5/20 Your astrological sign has now been changed to Libra. Please refer to the horoscope below....
Madeline Meyers, a twenty-something philosophy major, has come across a new solution to getting out of taking a test:
“Have you voted?” Is the question I’ve been asked every time I’ve stepped within a hundred feet of the Werner Center this week.
Aries 3/21-4/19 100 percent the answer to your question is vodka. (I’m contractually obligated to assert this horoscope is for readers 21+.) Taurus 4/20-5/20 A mysterious box will arrive at your door tomorrow, Taurus. I advise you to take everything that’s inside, but...
WESTERN OREGON UNIVERSITY
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Monmouth OR 97361
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