“I wanna be like you, I wanna talk like you, walk like you too!”

 Funny how the lens through which we view a situation can change our outlook entirely. While listening to a conversation between my fellow Americans about their first impressions of people; I was fascinated with how each person’s experiences and expectations changed their opinions of others entirely. I don’t want this to sound like a class essay so I’ll try to avoid writing about the too-much-thinking I’ve done about this, but there are the cultural glasses we wear, in which we see everything through a lens based on our American (or whatever) upbringing. But even within the same American upbringing, there are so many different pairs of these glasses. So many other facets of our lives that effect how one interprets a situation and it is interesting how vastly different the same moment can look, through different glasses.

For example:  I was with several other girls one day at a restaurant hoping to order an afternoon snack. The waiter came out to serve us and there were three of us who each interpreted what happened next, very differently. I, usually more prone to the “let’s not cause a scene and just deal with it” response was not particularly offended by the waiter’s attitude and had no intention of reacting. However, another girl felt quite differently. She felt that the service we received was rude and racist and thus we ended up leaving the restaurant.   I remained quiet and kept my opinions to myself in discussing the event or recounting it to others. I don’t feel that I knew enough about the culture to pass judgment and draw conclusions about the waiter’s attitude. While I am fairly certain we were not doing anything gravely offensive, there may have been something about our behavior that triggered the waiter’s response, perhaps we were the ones that were unknowingly rude. Maybe he was not acting out of the ordinary for that style of restaurant in that part of the world, and he may have not had any racist thoughts. Perhaps he had dropped a plate on his foot 10 minutes before, or received an unsettling phone call from home. I’ll never know, and it doesn’t matter. It was a lesson on perspective and open-mindedness. The lesson for me is that I want to learn how to behave to fit in while I’m here.

Cultural Norms:

As I mentioned before, I had a fear of breaking little cultural unwritten rules while I learned how to blend in with the French people for a few months. Here is my report back. It happens all the time! It usually is not as bad as I anticipated but it’s still obvious. Such as wearing tennis shoes, or speaking English, sneezing loudly or chewing gum. There are too many to go over. For the most part, people just ignore us. Sometimes they are helpful and polite and giggle at our attempts. Riding the tram is a great place to stick out and watch the reactions of the French. We get stared at while talking to one another in English (would it be better or worse to speak in our broken French with a foreign accent?). I always catch people smiling to themselves when they see the homework I’m working on. Luckily, in this town people are used to exchange students.

Assumptions, Attitudes and Accusations:

One of my biggest pet peeves is when someone jumps to conclusions without enough information, and then acts on this. It’s bad enough at home where we know the unwritten rules and have more experience with what is “normal” or socially acceptable. But I find it really frustrating here, where we don’t know.  For example, if receiving “bad” service somewhere, why is the next assumption “They treated us like that because we are American! It’s so dumb and not fair! The French are racist!”? We have no idea actually and I can say with some certainty that there must be a lot more to it that meets the eye. Maybe it is the psychology major in me coming out; one cannot draw conclusions based on perception.

“I’m gunna bring America to France!” –anonymous student

This topic makes me think of the Jungle Book and sometimes, after a day of studying French and the culture I find myself humming: “I wanna be like you, I wanna talk like you, walk like you too!”. I think it is important that while we are here to study and to visit, we learn as much as we can, and adapt when possible and most of all, avoid just plowing through leaving an American trail and a bad taste in the local’s mouths. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t mean that I’m going to stop wearing my rain jacket because I get weird looks, I mean I want to avoid the attitude, of shrugging things off and dismissing local cultures while insisting on bringing my home culture here.

Acceptance:

While I’m on this deep streak, I might as well bring up that in my determination to be open minded I’ve had some surprises and found myself bonding with other Americans I may never have spoken to had it not been for studying abroad together. I have made some very unlikely friends that I’ll remember for the rest of my life. They have already taught me so much and given me a new perspective (or to get really essay-esk, new glasses) on life that I think will help me be less judgmental.  They have been a good reminder to always put forth the effort to get to know someone, and find out about people and why they are the way they are.

My final thoughts for now have to do with stereotypes.  I was about to post this blog but remembered a topic that came up in a class today. I may write more about this in the future, but for now I’d like to leave you with a question.  Basically, our discussion was about the different opinions of and labels assigned to various regions of France (the comparison being how each states views the other states or on a very local level, how Corvallis sees Eugene, (how Corvallis sees Corvallis), and how Eugene sees Corvallis (how Eugene sees Eugene)).  On my long tram ride home, the words of my professor still ringing in my ears, I began to connect that topic to the experience I was having locally and my constant comparisons of France and America/Oregon.
It was pointed out to us, that we stereotype on any level because it allows us to affirm who we are and assert who we need to be. I was intrigued by the concept of there being a model of who you are, within the stereotype you form about others. It is often seen in rivalries that what you say about another group of people (the negatives) is the opposite of how you would like to perceive and define yourself. For example, reading between the lines of saying “they are cold and snobby”, shows the opinion “we are warm and friendly”.
And now I am here, constantly looking for evidence to prove or disprove stereotypes about the French while learning the stereotypes that the French do actually identify with and what they believe about Americans.  So before I get too carried away with this, I’ll stop and just wonder aloud what do the stereotypes I knew about France before arriving have to say about how Americans perceive themselves?  Are negative stereotypes formed out of jealousy? Which came first, the stereotype or a sense of cultural superiority?

Food for thought.
Emily