March 11, 2026 | the signs’ most performative male trait
Aries: rattles off that he wants a “white chocolate raspberry doubleshot iced mocha” whenever he’s out with a woman
Taurus: owns every single tote from Trader Joe’s
Gemini: only listens to clairo and uses substack
Cancer: Love bombs you then ghosts you
Leo: Makes sure everyone knows he loves Sabrina Carpenter
Virgo: Unironically loves matcha lattes
Libra: saw the new wuthering heights movie
Scorpio: listens to specific songs they don’t even like to post a good spotify wrapped at the end of the year
Sagittarius: pretends to be shy and offline but has a screen time of 21 hours per day
Capricorn: makes sure you see him reading feminist literature
Aquarius: has princeton in his ig bio & one million $ of debt
Pisces: joins a newspaper team full of only women
