The Western Howl Staff
Aries 3/21-4/19
Is that an expired COVID vaccine in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?
Taurus 4/20-5/20
2021 is 2012 backwards but at least this time I’m prepared to die
Gemini 5/21-6/20
what’s your favorite absurd way to package wine? mine’s canned
Cancer 6/21-7/22
*claps hands with Libra*
Leo 7/23-8/22
Just send them to the Bermuda Triangle and we won’t have these problems anymore
Virgo 8/23-9/22
a tubular optical instrument containing lenses and mirrors by which an observer obtains an otherwise obstructed field of view
Libra 9/23-10/22
If you’re about to spend the stimulus money on things you don’t need and you know it, clap your hands!
Scorpio 10/23-11/21
I’m not saying I hate you, but I’d unplug your life support to charge my phone
Sagittarius 11/22-12/21
I can drink (responsibly) now
Capricorn 12/22-1/19
Glad we’re still in the peppermint mocha stage of seasonal beverages
Aquarius 1/20 – 2/18
nobody:
absolutely nobody:
pharmacist: destroys 500 vaccines because just anyone can be a pharmacist
Pisces 2/19 – 3/20
The amount of serotonin I get from drinking out of odd shaped mugs is unnatural.
