Humor
The Candy Critic: Reese’s
By: Ashton Newton self-proclaimed candyman When I dig into a Reese’s Peanut Butter Cup, I know exactly what to expect. That perfect blend of chocolate and peanut butter melting in my mouth and, for just a second, washing away every worry in the world. Reese’s are...
It’s the great drunk review, Charlie Brown
By: Paige Scofield News Editor Note: this article was edited for readability. So this is going to be less of a review and more of an I watch-I think-I type kind of situation. This is indeed a drunk review of the classic: “It’s the Great Pumpkin Charlie Brown”....
This week in completely made up horoscopes
Compiled By:Stephanie Blair, Ashton Newton and Zoe Strickland Aries 3/21-4/19 Keep that pepper spray close, Aries. If you go back through your Snapchat story, you’ll notice that a clown has been following you around campus. Taurus 4/20-5/20 Don’t get coffee this week,...
No one lets the dogs out
By: Ashton Newton Entertainment Editor Homecoming week is here, and while I’m looking forward to all the fun activities planned, I can’t help but be a little upset over the lack of equal species representation in homecoming sports. There’s powder-puff football and...
This week in completely made up horoscopes
By: Stephanie Blair, Ashton Newton and Zoe Strickland Aries 3/21-4/19 Keep that pepper spray close, Aries. If you go back through your Snapchat story, you’ll notice that a clown has been following you around campus. Taurus 4/20-5/20 Don’t get coffee this week, Taurus....
I just don’t get Elon Musk’s sexual fascination with space exploration
By: Darien Campo Concerned Citizen Just last week SpaceX founder Elon Musk announced his plans to begin work on sending humans to the planet Mars by the year 2022-just six years from now. People around the globe are reacting to the news with excitement, rallying...
This week in completely made up horoscopes
This week in completely made up horoscopes Compiled by Zoe Strickland Aries 3/21-4/19 This week is looking grim, Aries. For some unknown reason, all of your meal plan points are about to disappear. The stars are showing me piles and piles of ramen in your future....
Campus clown survival tips
By: Ashton Newton Entertainment Editor Campus clowns are nothing to be afraid of. Here are some tips to help you get through the epidemic: 1. Clowns are more afraid of you than you are of them. 2. There’s a small chance that the clowns are friendly and just want to...
This week in completely made up horoscopes
By: Zoe Strickland NASA recently reminded all of us that they truly hold power over the stars. NASA scientists came forth with the information that there are actually 13 zodiac symbols, rather than 12. The ‘new’ zodiac, Ophiuchus, sits nestled in the winter months....
