This week in completely made up horoscopes

This week in completely made up horoscopes

Aries 3/21-4/19 Time to start spamming social media about how hard your one online final is going to be.   Taurus 4/20-5/20 Remember to renew your Amazon Prime membership, Taurus. Otherwise you’ll be looking at overdraft fees and will have no one to blame except...

This week in completely made up horoscopes

This week in completely made up horoscopes

Aries 3/21-4/19 – Even if it’s sunny, bring your umbrella, Aries. Chances are it’ll rain if you leave it home. Taurus 4/20-5/20 – Don’t drink milk ever again, Taurus. The stars are telling me milk is the preferred beverage of your future nemesis. Gemini...

Valentine’s nay

Valentine’s nay

By: Ashton Newton Hopeless Non-Romantic 50.2 percent of Americans are single, yet around the time of Valentine’s Day, stores fill up with heart shaped chocolates, roses and those atrocious teddy bears. As part of the 50.2 percent, I vowed this year to make good use of...

Happy Valentine’s Day?

By: Paige Scofield Natural Disaster Feb. 14th, otherwise known as Valentine’s Day, is a time of chocolates, cards, fancy dinners, broken hearts, love, frilly things, crippling self doubt, romance and candlelight. But people always seem to miss the most important...

By: Brian Tesch Advertising Manager For all of our lives, we were taught to use water to brew a cup of coffee in the morning. Let’s admit it: after a while, black coffee can be a bit dull. Until now, your only option was to buy either an expensive Keurig or espresso...