Booze & reviews: “Valentine’s Day”

A comedic romance in the perspective of three drunken reviewers

Kyle Morden | Head Designer

Allison Vanderzanden | Lifestyle Editor

Sydney Carpenter | News Editor

“Valentine’s Day” may not have scored high on Rotten Tomatoes, but it sure makes for a great drunk movie night. Read our full reviews in our online issue, which may contain spoilers. Please drink responsibly.

Kyle Morden | Head Designer

This needs to be put out there. If Allie doesn’t say this, SHE IS PISSING WHILE WRITING THIS> 

Love, cheating, thriller, jason, harry styles, queen beyonce, and valentines day — a day full of lonely a– b—–s who somehow get a love interest by the end of the day?? EVEN THIS LITTLE A– 7 YEAR OLD GETS HIS ONWN MOTHER BACK?? “Lmao im 7 and love sick” B—H WHAT ABOUT MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEWSEFERSFDRSGFDRGFGFRGdfgfsjhfvsgfsjhghkjfbvdjkbfhjsdbhjvhbfhbhjvbjnkvbjnkfnk?????????fjkhsgjcgkhhbjkhjkgfbgjfhgfxhjgyibfhhsdjkbzakuhks. Btw. military families amitire? Love em. Thank god that military mom came back for her son. Btw tbh i only remember the actors name (bradley cooper hit me up)

Valentines day is a day where a lot of people get f—-d (up to your interpretation uwu)

Ok ok so “valentine’s day” a movie full of twist and turns and sharkboy and lavagirl — without the lava girl and shark. How the f–k do you get two taylors into one movie??? LET ALONE HAVE THEM DATE EACH OTHER??????????????????????


I accidentally deleted my last paragraph, so go watch this movie yourself.

GAY COUPLES ARE THE ONLY COUPLES. ALSO DONT F—–G GROUP ALLIE WITH ME. SHES CRAZy. She said shes rolling, but idk if she means the drug or literally rolling on the floor? Dont do drugs, drink responsibly

How much do i need to type? I dont remember a word count. I KNOW HOW TO FINISH THIS.

Overall review: Let’s get naked~ uwu

Slide into my dms @_kylemorden on instagram 😉

Or contact the author at

Allison Vanderzanden | Lifestyle Editor

Okay first of all i was NOT too into this movie i was just having fun. MY ROOMMATE was into it tho

I would like to preface my review with the fact that i know none of the characters names, only taylor and taylor. I am inept when it comes to celebrities

Rotten tomatoes is WRONG, I had an AMAZING time watching this movie even though I was really confused. Who’s at the airport??? Whos barely legal in high school??? I could not tell you I could not

But listen. Really. It’s a fun movie to watch drunk. Tbh itd probably be Bad if I was not intoxicated. But it was cute! It was nice! There was representation! Gay men and single mums! We support them all!!! GAY BRADLEY COOPER!!!!!!!

Even through the confusion i was extremely satisfied w/ the ending. Through the MULTIPLE PG-13 sex scenes, there was still a sweet undertone where everyone got a happy ending uwu Not that I shouvlde expected ANY less from a 2010 rom com. Google “romcom drinking games” and watch this movie, you’ll have a fantastic time.

Contact the author at or don;t

Sydney Carpenter | News Editor

Okay so this what I got from this, please note this is my first time being drunk in my life. There were a lot of straight people but at some point we were gay and it was beautiful. I’m convinced all of these people were stunt doubles cause there absolutely no way all these famous people got together. The stunt doubles failed to give me wolf man and sharkboy there was sex scenes sometimes which was fine but i wasn’t really paying attention because I was busy eating my chili fries there was a little boy with a lot of angst for no reason over a cougar woman In conclustion roses are expensive af, and this mans was throwing them in the lake to feed ducks and thats acceptable.  THE MILITARY MOM CAME BACK AND IT WAS BEAUTIFUL. Im going to bed 

Dont email me, i wont’ reply email thank you

Be the first to comment on "Booze & reviews: “Valentine’s Day”"

Leave a comment

Your email address will not be published.