This week in completely made up horoscopes

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[fruitful_tab title=”Aries 3/21-4/19″] Aries season is nigh… [/fruitful_tab]

[fruitful_tab title=”Taurus 4/20-5/20″] This star has dipped, stay tuned after spring break, sayonara [/fruitful_tab]

[fruitful_tab title=”Gemini 5/21-6/20″] Your poor achy breaky heart [/fruitful_tab]

[fruitful_tab title=”Cancer 6/21-7/22″]I just wish other people had some. — Sean [/fruitful_tab]

[fruitful_tab title=”Leo 7/23-8/22″] Knock knock… hello??… [/fruitful_tab]

[fruitful_tab title=”Virgo 8/23-9/22″] Pick up your freakin feet. The floor’s not gonna vacuum itself.  [/fruitful_tab]

[fruitful_tab title=”Libra 9/23-10/22″] Help [/fruitful_tab]

[fruitful_tab title=”Scorpio 10/23-11/21″] The stars are saying that you should go through with it…just shave your head, now is the time. Also, you love red flags. [/fruitful_tab]

[fruitful_tab title=”Sagittarius 11/22-12/21″] My horoscope was hacked so bada-bing bada-boom here we are. [/fruitful_tab]

[fruitful_tab title=”Capricorn 12/22-1/19″] GRITTY IS GONNA COME AND GET YOU. EAT ¿ITS? RICE? [/fruitful_tab]

[fruitful_tab title=”Aquarius 1/20-2/18″] Schedule in some relaxation time. Ooh! I have time in between ‘daily breakdown number 9: shower cry’ and ‘3 hour cram session’! [/fruitful_tab]

[fruitful_tab title=”Pisces 2/19-3/20″] Please excuse me while I continue to cry about last week’s episode of “Grey’s Anatomy” because I’m virtually the last person to still watch that show.  [/fruitful_tab]

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