This week in totally made up horoscopes

The Signs as cartoon characters

Aries: stewie griffin

Taurus: kenny mccormick

Gemini: the street rat known as Aladdin

Cancer: Edd aka double D

Leo: Simba 

Virgo: mordecai regular show

Libra: porky pig 

Scorpio: arnold perlstein (look it up)

Sagittarius: bojack horseman 

Capricorn: Dipper Pines because we’re so neurotic

Aquarius: oswald the octopus

Pisces: silvermist