This week in completely made up horoscopes

The Western Howl Staff

Theme: No theme!

Aries 3/21-4/19  

You have entered the rat zone. 

Taurus 4/20-5/20

Be gay, do crimes 

Gemini 5/21-6/20 

okay google, why does burnt popcorn taste like how cat piss smells?

Cancer 6/21-7/22

Js, i’d sell your soul to satan for a corn chip

Leo 7/23-8/22

EArly summmmmer breakkk plz

Virgo 8/23-9/22

I think, ergo I am.

Libra 9/23-10/22

Hey siri, locate my fwb?

Scorpio 10/23-11/21 

Say hi to the gods

Sagittarius 11/22-12/21

Hello my little pogchamp UwU

Capricorn 12/22-1/19

If you see a sagittarius today, attack them say hello 🙂

Aquarius 1/20 – 2/18

zzzzz

Pisces 2/19 – 3/20

All I want today is a good gummy shark.