This week in completely made up horoscopes

The Western Howl Staff

Theme: What are the signs allergic to?

Aries 3/21-4/19  

deez nuts

Taurus 4/20-5/20

b.s. i don’t need to spell it out for ya

Gemini 5/21-6/20 

Bees love Geminis y’know, hope you’re prepared

Cancer 6/21-7/22


…there’s no joke, i just live a sad life without good fruit

Leo 7/23-8/22

Coffee that isn’t iced

Virgo 8/23-9/22

North Dakota

Libra 9/23-10/22

I’m allergic to huge family gatherings

Scorpio 10/23-11/21 

Everyone is allergic to scorpion venom. You are no exception

Sagittarius 11/22-12/21

Ur mom.

Capricorn 12/22-1/19

Buddha flavoured holy water, for some reason it doesn’t agree with me

Aquarius 1/20 – 2/18


Pisces 2/19 – 3/20

With how stuffed my nose is… air

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