This week in completely made up horoscopes

The Western Howl Staff

Theme: Which signs the stars think would win the bracket?

Aries 3/21-4/19  

I’d make it about halfway because I would definitely show up late

Taurus 4/20-5/20

Me.

Gemini 5/21-6/20 

me AND my split personality obvi

Cancer 6/21-7/22

Aries. Come on, they have the same name as the God of War.

Leo 7/23-8/22

Rawr XD

Virgo 8/23-9/22

Sagittarius is literally a centaur with a bow and arrow

Libra 9/23-10/22

In true Libra nature, I think everyone should win participation awards. uwu

Scorpio 10/23-11/21 

If I say Sag, will they spare my life and NOT shoot me?

Sagittarius 11/22-12/21

Fight me, b—h

Capricorn 12/22-1/19

Sagittarius is prob gonna die first

Aquarius 1/20 – 2/18

Virgo for sure, they’re psycho

Pisces 2/19 – 3/20

Gemini, they just have more to work with.