The Western Howl Staff

Aries 3/21-4/19  

I’m giving you a coupon to shut up 

Taurus 4/20-5/20

Oh look it’s a mug that says C–t and the C is the handle. I thought it matched your personality.

Gemini 5/21-6/20 

Unlock your next gift with a healthy donation of $30 

Cancer 6/21-7/22

I know you hate cheeseburgers, so I got you a cheeseburger without the cheese.

Leo 7/23-8/22

No, I didn’t get you anything. Did I get you???

Virgo 8/23-9/22

One (1) free pass to your local occult meeting

Libra 9/23-10/22

A stapler and loose staples placed inside neon jello. Useful and delicious! 

Scorpio 10/23-11/21 

enjoy my half-drunk peppermint mocha 🙂

Sagittarius 11/22-12/21

What’s that? You don’t want this gag ball?

Capricorn 12/22-1/19

I couldn’t afford a gift this year, so I got you this box

Aquarius 1/20 – 2/18

It’s sudoku toilet paper! Figured you needed something to do while you’re in there for an hour

Pisces 2/19 – 3/20

I hope you enjoy this personalized notebook with a 2-page note I wrote for you and this scrap book and this mug and…