This week in completely made up horoscopes

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[fruitful_tab title=”Aries 3/21-4/19″] I’m having me time, get out. [/fruitful_tab]

[fruitful_tab title=”Taurus 4/20-5/20″] A great way to achieve some peace and quiet to get what you need done… Don’t do it, let it be and continue your procrastination. [/fruitful_tab]

[fruitful_tab title=”Gemini 5/21-6/20″] There are no rules in quarantine except for one. Block block block your ex and never text them again. [/fruitful_tab]

[fruitful_tab title=”Cancer 6/21-7/22″] So you’ve started writing poems in your Notes app … you know there’s no coming back from that, right? [/fruitful_tab]

[fruitful_tab title=”Leo 7/23-8/22″] Oops *moans* [/fruitful_tab]

[fruitful_tab title=”Virgo 8/23-9/22″] Why is “Gravity Falls” only two seasons! [/fruitful_tab]

[fruitful_tab title=”Libra 9/23-10/22″]Wait what? [/fruitful_tab]

[fruitful_tab title=”Scorpio 10/23-11/21″] Just so we’re all on the same page, flying spiders were a thing in Texas three years ago. But they might come back.. [/fruitful_tab]

[fruitful_tab title=”Sagittarius 11/22-12/21″] aaaaaaAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH [/fruitful_tab]

[fruitful_tab title=”Capricorn 12/22-1/19″] Who knew that eating chocolate frosting could be such great exercise? [/fruitful_tab]

[fruitful_tab title=”Aquarius 1/20-2/18″] Sorry, it’s week eight and I’m not feeling this, sayonara [/fruitful_tab]

[fruitful_tab title=”Pisces 2/19-3/20″] Advice, brought to you by iPhone predictive text: If I don’t wanna go get back with ya, lol. I’m sorry about that. Your email is not working. [/fruitful_tab]

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