This week in completely made up horoscopes

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[fruitful_tab title=”Aries 3/21-4/19″] Prepare… [/fruitful_tab]

[fruitful_tab title=”Taurus 4/20-5/20″] ‘Tis almost your time… watch out gemini [/fruitful_tab]

[fruitful_tab title=”Gemini 5/21-6/20″] No one can trust Taurus rn. [/fruitful_tab]

[fruitful_tab title=”Cancer 6/21-7/22″] When you cry, you sound like the opening beat of Roddy Ricch’s “The Box.” Basically, stop. [/fruitful_tab]

[fruitful_tab title=”Leo 7/23-8/22″] Why is chickadee crossroads…? [/fruitful_tab]

[fruitful_tab title=”Virgo 8/23-9/22″] Lemme celebrate my half birthday in peace. [/fruitful_tab]

[fruitful_tab title=”Libra 9/23-10/22″] f–k i forgot to do this [/fruitful_tab]

[fruitful_tab title=”Scorpio 10/23-11/21″] It’s easy to forget how good banana bread is, try to remember. [/fruitful_tab]

[fruitful_tab title=”Sagittarius 11/22-12/21″] Read page 9. [/fruitful_tab]

[fruitful_tab title=”Capricorn 12/22-1/19″] First it was us v. Sagittarius. Now it’s Taurus v. Gemini. This should be entertaining. [/fruitful_tab]

[fruitful_tab title=”Aquarius 1/20-2/18″] Don’t cry, craft! [/fruitful_tab]

[fruitful_tab title=”Pisces 2/19-3/20″] It’s ok if your life is currently a dumpster fire because at least it’s gonna start raining for the next two weeks straight !  [/fruitful_tab]

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