This week in completely made up horoscopes

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[fruitful_tab title=”Aries 3/21-4/19″] Round 1: FIGHT [/fruitful_tab]

[fruitful_tab title=”Taurus 4/20-5/20″] You may think that was a good idea, but be honest with yourself… it most surely was not. Have fun fixing it. [/fruitful_tab]

[fruitful_tab title=”Gemini 5/21-6/20″] You want some advice? [/fruitful_tab]

[fruitful_tab title=”Cancer 6/21-7/22″] An apple a day keeps the doctor away; an apple aimed at his head keeps him away for life. [/fruitful_tab]

[fruitful_tab title=”Leo 7/23-8/22″] Don’t let yourself get overshadowed by the DiCaprios and DiVincis of the world… can’t all be special. [/fruitful_tab]

[fruitful_tab title=”Virgo 8/23-9/22″] 🙁 Virgo, you’re the snack that DOESN’T smile back, and that’s ok 🙂 [/fruitful_tab]

[fruitful_tab title=”Libra 9/23-10/22″] Take some time to relax Libra. Maybe grab some popcorn, place some bets, and watch the Sagittarii v Capricorns fight it out. [/fruitful_tab]

[fruitful_tab title=”Scorpio 10/23-11/21″] It’s okay, Spring Break is only 54 days away. [/fruitful_tab]

[fruitful_tab title=”Sagittarius 11/22-12/21″] Attack any capricorn you see today 🙂 [/fruitful_tab]

[fruitful_tab title=”Capricorn 12/22-1/19″] Be safe, you’ll probably get attacked by a sagittarius today. [/fruitful_tab]

[fruitful_tab title=”Aquarius 1/20-2/18″] Inserting yourself into the Sag v Cap situation will definitely make it better 🙂 [/fruitful_tab]

[fruitful_tab title=”Pisces 2/19-3/20″] Steer clear of both Sagittariuses and Capricorns this week. Both are crazy tbh. [/fruitful_tab]

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