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Dasani to rename themselves “America’s Best Tap Water” until November election

By: Katrina Penaflor
Managing Editor

The next company to show their support for the upcoming election is none other than Dasani, you know, the bottled water brand you buy because it’s cheaper than Smart Water.

But consumers will no longer find “Dasani” on the labels for the next few months. Instead the company is choosing to print “America’s Best Tap Water” to show their support for our fine country.

Franklin O’Brian, a brand spokesman for Dasani, issued a statement about the new name.

“When you think of America, you think of two things. First is the word ‘America’ and second is ‘Dasani.’ We want our company to reflect that, hence the temporary name change,” O’Brian said.

Although it is completely arguable that Americans have never once thought of Dasani when thinking about their country, it can be noted that a major company showing their support for the presidential race is a unique form of marketing.

O’Brian continued with his statement and added, “We really felt like Dasani fit the theme of the election this year, and our rebranding supports that. Our newly labeled ‘America’s Best Tap Water’ is all about not totally being the best water for you, but you’ll drink it anyway because it’s your only option.”

When asked if he thought having “tap water” as part of the new name would deter people from purchasing their product, O’Brian quickly responded with “I don’t think so, no. People will honestly purchase anything with ‘America’ written on it.”

He continued, “Our sales have skyrocketed in the last week that we’ve been on shelves, and all we did was place a sticker over our new labels. We didn’t even bother to reprint.”

To see if what O’Brian was saying was actually true, I stopped by a local Target and found a woman who was purchasing the new America’s Best Tap Water.

I asked why she favored this brand over something of the same price, like Aquafina. She said, “I don’t want people to think I’m un-American. Plus I’m in charge of bringing drinks to my PTA meeting. This will make all the moms look bad who showed up with off-brand bottled water that doesn’t have ‘America’ written on it.”

Contact the author at journalmanaging@wou.edu or on Twitter @JournalKatrina