Mount Hood

Idiot of the week

By: Jamal Smith
Sports Editor

It is safe to say that the Texas Rangers and the Toronto Blue Jays loathe each other. The two teams’ animosity for the other has been simmering since last year’s American League Playoff Series when Toronto outfielder, Jose Bautista, crushed a late game home run and threw his bat in celebration, a move which Rangers’ players and coaches deemed to be excessive and classless.

On Monday, May 15, all hell broke loose between the two teams in the top of the eighth inning after Bautista slid hard into the feet of the Rangers’ second baseman, Rougned Odor, during a double play. Odor immediately responded by shoving Bautista and then throwing a punch, but not just any punch; this was a punch that Mike Tyson would have been proud of.

Pandemonium ensued as players and coaches from both teams rushed the field. The scene was so chaotic that it took the umpires just over ten minutes to restore order and restart the game.

“I was pretty surprised,” Bautista said in an interview with ESPN. “I mean, obviously, that’s the only reason he got me, and he got me pretty good, so I have to give him that. It takes a little bigger man to knock me down.”

Odor was handed down an eight game suspension by the MLB brass, and Bautista was suspended one game for his hard slide and post-game comments. Both Odor and Bautista issued appeals and will play with their respected teams until a verdict is reached in the appeal process.

Although Odor’s haymaker and the resulting scuffle provided drama which is scarcely seen in MLB, Odor earns the idiot of the week award because he let his emotions get the best of him. Odor’s eight game suspension, which is very unlikely to be overturned or even lowered, will no doubt have a negative effect on his team who is currently in second place in the American League West division.

Odor should have taken his frustrations out on the field, and not on his opponent.

Contact the author at jsmith15@wou.edu or on Twitter @journalsportWOU

Wolves fall short at GNAC Championship

By: Jamal Smith
Sports editor

The Western Oregon baseball team has been a perennial powerhouse in the GNAC for over a decade, winning 13 consecutive GNAC titles. The trophy case in the New P.E. Building is loaded with hardware as a testament to their success.

Heading into the GNAC Championship game on May 13, the Wolves had all reason to believe that they could add yet another trophy into their case, but standing in their way was Northwest Nazarene University.

Prior to the championship game against the Crusaders, Western dropped their first game in the GNAC Championships on Thursday against Montana State Billings University, but then later in the day, in a do-or-die scenario, dominated Nazarene 14-3.

Then on Friday, the Wolves got revenge against Billings when they dominated every facet of the game and came away victorious with the score of 14-3. NNU won their game setting up an intriguing matchup between the Wolves and Crusaders with the winner taking home the coveted championship trophy.

The Crusaders struck first, and in the first inning, Northwest Nazarene came away with two runs. However, the determined Wolves responded by scoring a run in the second, third, and fourth inning, and then three runs in the fifth inning when senior infielder Marcus Madden doubled home two runs and then later scored himself on a throwing error from the Crusaders’ shortstop. The Wolves led 6-2 going into the bottom of the fifth.

Just when it appeared that all the momentum swung in the Wolves’ favor, the Crusaders started scoring runs in bunches. Northwest Nazarene added a run in the fifth inning and then scored six runs in the sixth inning to give them a 9-6 advantage.

Western showed their never-say-die attitude by scoring two runs in the seventh inning to close the gap to one run, but the Wolves were inevitably unable to overcome Nazarene’s late game flurry. The final score was 9-8.

Although the Wolves fell short in achieving their goal of winning 14 straight GNAC titles, they gave it everything they had until the final out, and they should be proud of their efforts.

Contact the author at jsmith15@wou.edu or on Twitter @journalsportWOU

Dasani to rename themselves “America’s Best Tap Water” until November election

By: Katrina Penaflor
Managing Editor

The next company to show their support for the upcoming election is none other than Dasani, you know, the bottled water brand you buy because it’s cheaper than Smart Water.

But consumers will no longer find “Dasani” on the labels for the next few months. Instead the company is choosing to print “America’s Best Tap Water” to show their support for our fine country.

Franklin O’Brian, a brand spokesman for Dasani, issued a statement about the new name.

“When you think of America, you think of two things. First is the word ‘America’ and second is ‘Dasani.’ We want our company to reflect that, hence the temporary name change,” O’Brian said.

Although it is completely arguable that Americans have never once thought of Dasani when thinking about their country, it can be noted that a major company showing their support for the presidential race is a unique form of marketing.

O’Brian continued with his statement and added, “We really felt like Dasani fit the theme of the election this year, and our rebranding supports that. Our newly labeled ‘America’s Best Tap Water’ is all about not totally being the best water for you, but you’ll drink it anyway because it’s your only option.”

When asked if he thought having “tap water” as part of the new name would deter people from purchasing their product, O’Brian quickly responded with “I don’t think so, no. People will honestly purchase anything with ‘America’ written on it.”

He continued, “Our sales have skyrocketed in the last week that we’ve been on shelves, and all we did was place a sticker over our new labels. We didn’t even bother to reprint.”

To see if what O’Brian was saying was actually true, I stopped by a local Target and found a woman who was purchasing the new America’s Best Tap Water.

I asked why she favored this brand over something of the same price, like Aquafina. She said, “I don’t want people to think I’m un-American. Plus I’m in charge of bringing drinks to my PTA meeting. This will make all the moms look bad who showed up with off-brand bottled water that doesn’t have ‘America’ written on it.”

Contact the author at journalmanaging@wou.edu or on Twitter @JournalKatrina

Horoscopes

 

Aries 3/21-4/19Screen Shot 2016-05-09 at 4.14.23 PM
Here is a random tweet to I found to guide you through your day. “When in doubt, just do the opposite of whatever the person wearing pajamas in public is doing.” -@Tmoney68

Taurus 4/20-5/20
The moons are telling me you’re prepping for summer, Taurus. Take it down a notch, and please stop bathing in tanning oil. You’re getting it all over the place.

Gemini 5/21-6/20
I was harsh on you last week, Gemini, when I predicted you’d only get three pumps. I’m feeling generous today. The stars are telling me you’ll get four.

Cancer 6/21-7/22
I’m sure you’re wondering why your dog is constantly dressing as a goth princess, Cancer. Just let her do her thing. It’s just a phase.

Leo 7/23-8/22
Go eat a mediocre, chunky peanut butter sandwich.

Virgo 8/23-9/22
The next Arizona iced tea you purchase will be filled entirely with cream cheese.

Libra 9/23-10/22
You’ve consumed nothing but uncooked ramen noodles for the last 14 days. I’m not trying to tell you how to live your life, Libra … actually, I am. Switch up your diet. Go eat something covered in chocolate.

Scorpio 10/23-11/21
Scorpio, I’ve got great news for you. Your Justin Trudeau glitter tattoo kit is arriving in the mail tomorrow.

Sagittarius 11/22-12/21
May 27 is officially the day that you begin dating a 10 piece chicken nuggets box. Congratulations. I’ll send you a card.

Capricorn 12/22-1/19
Save the date November 24, 2016.

Aquarius 1/20-2/18
That plaid shirt is simply disgusting.

Pisces 2/19-3/20
That’s not your cat, it’s a raccoon. Put your glasses back on, Pisces.

Climate change impacts Northwest

By: Rachael Jackson
 Climate

Oregon State University professor Philip Dr. Mote teaches his students about earth, ocean, and atmospheric sciences, but that isn’t his only credentials. He also serves as director of the Oregon Climate Change Research Institute, and is the co-leader of the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration-funded Climate Impacts Research Consortium (CIRC).

Dr. Mote visited campus May 19 to speak about his work with the CIRC on uncovering the mysteries of climate change in the Northwest.

He explained it isn’t something often thought about because the changes in the Northwest aren’t that drastic, but they are still evident when the clues are investigated. He and his team at CIRC have indicated three large impacts of Northwest climate.

“The first thing is, our water system here in the Northwest is heavily dependent on when it falls from the sky, which is in the winter, which leads to snowpack, and then it melts in the summer,” Dr. Mote said.

“We don’t have snowpack like we used to. We don’t understand something like this until 2015 happens and suddenly we are in the middle of a drought,” Dr. Mote said.

Second is coastal erosion. If a major subduction zone earthquake were to happen (which some scientists have predicted could happen within the next 150 years), it could cause a five-foot decrease in the seafloor, meaning the water would rise just as much on the shore.

The last impact is damage to forests from fires and insects. These are the harder ones to gauge, but a recent outbreak of mountain pine beetles as well as large scale forest fires both follow along with the trends of coastal erosion and decrease in water supplies. The beetles devastate other insect and plant life.

Together, these three change habitats by depleting previously abundant sources of water, shelter for animal life, and fuel (gathered from trees).

Dr. Mote recommended that the audience pay attention to the second impact, coastal erosion, as the danger of the earthquake looms over us all in our region.
Western doesn’t have many classes on this topic, something Brandon Pike, senior geography major, noticed.

“It could be good to get this topic into an LACC, teach something that is close to home and meaningful,” Pike said.

One audience member asked what we could do to try and lower our own carbon dioxide emissions, to which Dr. Mote said: drive less. If you can afford it, invest in a hybrid vehicle. If you can’t afford it, jump on public transit if it is available, or carpool to destinations.

Interested in learning about your own carbon footprint? Check out the carbon footprint calculator online at the Environmental Protection Agency’s website www3.epa.gov/carbon-footprint-calculator/.

Contact the author at rjackson13@wou.edu

Independence food cart fails to disappoint

 By: Ben Bergerson
Designer

To tell the truth, I’ve been a vegetarian for five years. I never really crave red meat, so a few weeks ago when I suddenly had a hankering for a burger I was surprised. I took it in stride, however, and decided to take a break from my herbivore habit.

This sudden meat craving led me to Chow Thyme, a food cart in Independence. Their tagline is “like yo’ momma made it,” and let me tell you, my mom is a good cook, but this is a whole ‘nother level.

The Bacon Blue Cheese Burger I ordered was stacked with a half-pound patty and a generous helping of bacon, blue cheese, onion, lettuce, tomato, pickle, and some amazing house-made sauce. The house-cut fries that came with it were fresh and flavorful.

“They have the best fries in town,” said Jocelyn Chavez, junior anthropology major.

I thought they were reasonably priced at $8 a burger. By the time I was done with my meal I was full to the brim.

“I really like the Mushroom Swiss burger,” said Chavez. “I’ve had it a few times now.”

Open 10:00 a.m. to 6:00 p.m. Tuesday through Saturday, Chow Thyme also has breakfast and entree options.

Check out their menu online at www.chow-thyme.com and you can catch them next to the Family Tresures Marketplace in Independence.

Contact the author at bebergerson13@wou.edu or on Twitter @ben_bergerson.

Dear Esmeralda

Screen Shot 2016-04-17 at 9.05.53 PM

Dear Esmeralda,

I live with two other girls and one of them is always eating my stuff from the fridge and pantry. I have caught her on like five occasions this month and I have told her this is not cool. But she keeps doing it! This makes me wonder what else of mine she has took/used without my knowledge. I know school is almost over but we planned on living with each other over the summer … What in the heck should I do?

Sincerely,
Stolen Meatloaf

Dear Stolen Meatloaf,

GUUUUUUUUURL, if anyone tried to eat my food I would eat them! Ain’t nobody taking my food. I have gotta say your patience is something out of this world! Goodness, I nearly become superhuman! So there are two routes you can go; my preferred route (the petty af route) or the more mature (and boring route). So because I am a petty queen I’m going to tell you about the petty way first. I would start by eating her food and then playing dumb. Then I would start hiding her things, don’t go big at first. Start with one of her makeup brushes, or a spare hair brush. Then take a surge protector. Then the connector of her phone charger, not the cord itself of course. That is the last thing to go. You see the pattern, you may need to adapt it for her but I say you can wreak lots of havoc over the next few weeks.

Now for the mature way (AKA the boring way). One thing you can do is eat food she doesn’t like, make it spicy that is a good way to get people to stop eating your food. OH! I thought of a petty version! You will have to waste food and I hate that but it will teach her a lesson. Over salt, like way too much salt, your leftovers. Then when she eats it she will be in for a surprise! Now back to our regularly scheduled maturity! Another thing you could do is talk about it with her again and explain that if she is gonna keep eating your food she had better help pay for it or if she wants to do the dishes after you make food that could be a fair trade off.

Another serious note: because it is the end of school year your roommate could be out of money. If so I would mention the on campus food pantry located in the lowest floor of the APSC. It’s on the side closest to the town’s main drag.

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Western Oregon University in Monmouth, OR is located within the traditional homelands of the Luckiamute Band of Kalapuya. Following the Willamette Valley Treaty of 1855 (Kalapuya etc. Treaty), Kalapuya people were forcibly removed to reservations in Western Oregon. Today, living descendants of these people are a part of the Confederated Tribes of Grand Ronde Community of Oregon and the Confederated Tribes of the Siletz Indians.

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