Mount Hood

Humor: ASWOU offers super-genius puppies in an effort to attract more voters

By: Katrina Penaflor 
Managing Editor

“Have you voted?” Is the question I’ve been asked every time I’ve stepped within a hundred feet of the Werner Center this week.

And sometimes, I’m positive it’s not even a person from ASWOU asking, just some twenty-something man in a generic blue polo looking to make small talk.

In hopes of attracting voters, ASWOU has been offering incentives to students who are willing to brave through the labyrinth that is OrgSync in exchange for things like popsicles and brownies.

But to the college students who “simply don’t give uh,” the snacks just weren’t doing it for them.

“We needed to think of something that would entice even more students to vote. We went the safe route with our marketing, it was time we did something really daring. Something that college students would connect with,” said a woman who looked well-spirited enough to be a representative for ASWOU.

And the grand idea in all of this? Hundreds of adorable, totally-free-if-you-vote, super-genius puppies.

The dogs, besides being able to do regular dog stuff, can proofread your papers, balance your checkbook, and speak fluent Mandarin.

“Are they smart enough to vote for me?” A junior, and now new dog owner, Vanessa Rook asked. To which ASWOU quickly responded, “No.”

After news of the dog giveaway spread, students flew to the voting stands outside the WUC. I tried to swindle my way ahead of the line by telling someone from ASWOU that I had already voted.

I was immediately thanked and given a puppy for my “efforts,” but to my surprise the dog turned on me and revealed my scheming ways.

He told ASWOU that I had in fact not voted. Or at least, I’m told that’s what he said—I don’t speak Mandarin.

The dog was removed from my possession until I logged into OrgSync and voted for real.

I’m happy to say that my efforts were worth it, and that I also changed outfits five times that day and continued to let ASWOU know I had voted, receiving more and more super-genius dogs.

Humor: Horoscopes

Aries 3/21-4/19
100 percent the answer to your question is vodka. (I’m contractually obligated to assert this horoscope is for readers 21+.)

Taurus 4/20-5/20
A mysterious box will arrive at your door tomorrow, Taurus. I advise you to take everything that’s inside, but leave the Troll doll that was clearly given a haircut by a five-year-old with safety scissors.

Gemini 5/21-6/20
Tomorrow at lunch you’ll receive a bread roll that looks extremely similar to a vagina. This is your new lucky charm. Seriously, Jupiter told me. I can’t make this sh– up. But then again, these horoscopes are completely made up … so, I guess I can.

Cancer 6/21-7/22
Vanilla wafer.

Leo 7/23-8/22
We get it, Leo, you’re a hipster. Please stop serving people deconstructed dinners on dust pans and unsanded blocks of wood.

Virgo 8/23-9/22
#avocadotoast #encryptedpromproposal #Wolfieontheloose #earlymorningcardio #detoxtea #wanderlust

Libra 9/23-10/22
The stars are all over the place for you this week, Libra. I spy a vacation coming up. And by vacation, I mean a low-budget trip, and by low-budget trip, I mean you’ll have to time to drive over to Salem tomorrow.

Scorpio 10/23-11/21
You received incredibly high ratings on Yelp this week, Scorpio. One reviewer said, “Handshakes are definitely above par.”

Sagittarius 11/22-12/21
Sagittarius, the question you asked the universe last week was “how many cats are too many?” Seven. Seven cats are WAY too many.

Capricorn 12/22-1/19
I’ve exhausted all my horoscopes pertaining to you being pregnant, Capricorn. So, here’s a riddle: what has four legs, four arms, two sets of eyes, and two mouths—but only for nine months?

Aquarius 1/20-2/18
I know it’s a rough situation, Aquarius. Believe me, I’ve been there. But you cannot prevent the grilled cheeses from burning on Thursday. No way around it, just order a pizza.

Pisces 2/19-3/20
For the next week your diet will consist entirely of those cheese crackers with the peanut butter in them and Gardetto’s rye chips.

R-Rated Superhero Trend Continues

By: Ashton Newton
Staff Writer

Fox’s “Deadpool” was the first R-rated movie to come out of the superhero craze, and it was amazing. In the Journal’s review, we said “The R rating allowed the action to be filled with blood and gore. The film didn’t hold back at all when it came to blood or dismemberment, and it was fantastic.”

“Deadpool” made $758 million worldwide, far surpassing its $58 million budget.

With its success, it’s no surprise that “Deadpool 2” is on the way. Tim Miller is returning as director, and of course Ryan Reynolds is returning as the Merc with a Mouth, himself.

The sequel will also feature the popular comic book character Cable, who was confirmed to be a part of the movie by Deadpool, himself. No actor has been chosen.

Cable is the time travelling son of Cyclops who befriends Deadpool and forms the group “The X-Force.”

“Deadpool 2” releases next year.

Following the trend of R-rated superhero movies, Fox confirmed that “Wolverine 3” would also be rated R. The movie will be Hugh Jackman’s final appearance as Wolverine and will also include Patrick Stewart’s Professor X.

“Wolverine 3” is based off of the “Old Man Logan” comic storyline, which is set in an alternate universe and sees the US taken over by villains and most of the heroes killed. “Wolverine 3” has a set release date of March 3, 2017.

DC is also jumping into the R-rated movie pool with the upcoming animated film “The Killing Joke” based off of the wildly successful graphic novel of the same name.

This is the first animated film in DC Animation’s nine years to be rated R. The critically-acclaimed graphic novel is said to be one of the Joker’s most defining sources of material. Christopher Nolan has also said that “The Killing Joke” was one of the inspirations for Heath Ledger’s Joker.

The film will first screen at San Diego Comic Con, and then release on home video in July.

With the new R-rated superhero trend, adult fans have a lot of hilarious, gory, and dark films to look forward to.

Agents of “S.C.O.O.B”

By: Ashton Newton
Staff Writer

With Marvel’s wildly successful cinematic universe, other franchises have begun to dig into the idea of a shared movie universe. DC began theirs with “Batman v Superman,” and Star Wars has theirs with the upcoming spinoff “Rogue One.”

But one of the more surprising cinematic universes was revealed with Warner Brothers’ Hanna-Barbera cinematic universe, the first movie in the universe being a new animated Scooby Doo movie, “S.C.O.O.B.” slated for a 2018 release.

All that has been said about plot so far is that the film will have the “Mystery Machine Gang” working for a larger organization.

Tony Cervone will direct “S.C.O.O.B.” Cervone has directed a lot of Hanna-Barbera and other Warner Bros animated movies.

The Hanna-Barbera universe will consist of traditionally animated films with characters from the studio’s long list of past projects, including Scooby Doo, Yogi Bear, The Flintstones, and the Jetsons. Their long list of animated shows that used to play on Cartoon Network can now be found on the Boomerang Network.

Hanna-Barbera dominated animated television from the ‘60s all the way to the early 2000s so, seeing their characters on the big screen will be a very nostalgic experience for many people.

Now the question is, will the Scooby Doo gang, Atom Ant, Quickdraw McGraw, and other beloved characters ever comes together “Avengers” style?

On television, the characters did occasionally come together in special episodes. One of the most memorable being the 1978 “Yogi’s Space Race,” crossing over The Flintstones, Quickdraw McGraw, Yogi Bear, Huckleberry Hound, among others.

In a world filled with cinematic universes, the Hanna-Barbera animated universe has the potential to be one of the most nostalgic and entertaining that has been seen yet.

“S.C.O.O.B.” releases September 21, 2018.

Plaudits for Prince

By: Brianna Bonham
Photo Editor

Screen Shot 2016-04-25 at 7.22.46 PMFans across the world mourn over the death of singer-songwriter Prince. At age 57 he was found dead in his home on April 22, 2016.

Focusing on his death and how he died would be a shame, as he lived a life worth remembering and celebrating. He was a very private person with his personal life, but his stunning stage presence and musical mastery was enough to inspire masses.

Coming into the spotlight in the ‘80s, along with artists and groups like Boy George and Twisted Sister, Prince’s fashion was always flamboyant, and he exuded confidence like no other. What makes him stand out is his individuality, and the fact that his style wasn’t an act but a part of who he was.

He was always wearing some sort of heels, whether they were stilletos or heeled boots. Heels on women have always been seen as attractive, or even sexual, and Prince’s impenitent donning of heels showed that they can be seen the same way on men. He did the same with sequins, ruffles, lace, etc. Anything that was seen as “feminine” he wore and suddenly it was seen as androgynous and handsome.

He challenged the idea of gender conformity in some of his lyrics as well. “I’m not a woman. I’m not a man. I am something that you’ll never understand,” Prince sings in hit “I Would Die 4 U.” He kissed gender barriers goodbye and embraced his sexuality. Prince was unafraid of his sexuality and often demonstrated that through his style, stage presence, and music until it became a part of his image.

Prince was a brilliant musician. He was a multi-instrumentalist and very skilled in all of them, particularly guitar. His fingers were paint, his guitar was a canvas, and the beautiful rhythms he created were so complex. One of his standout guitar moments for me was his performance in the Super Bowl XLI halftime show. The pure passion in his face as he played showed his love for the instrument.

With unique vocals and catchy lyrics, his music was meant to be sung along with. Standout songs such as “When The Doves Cry,” “Kiss,” “Let’s Go Crazy,” and “Raspberry Beret,” were on the Billboard Hot 100 hits for multiple weeks. His blend of funk, R&B, pop, and rock just worked and enraptured fans in his sweet melodies, loud guitar, and funky keyboard.
Prince lived for music. He was influenced by music at a young age by his parents who were both musicians, and throughout his life he produced dozens of albums and went on dozens of tours.

His unapologetic and unquestioning individuality serves as an inspiration for many fans today, whether or not they are straight, gay, bisexual, pansexual, transgender, gender fluid, or cisgender. No matter how they identify, Prince shows that it’s ok to love yourself and be whoever you want to be.

Fans across the world have been celebrating his life with mass dance parties and cover performances for days after his death. Thousands gathered outside of Minneapolis nightclub First Avenue which was featured in the movie “Purple Rain.”

A legend such as Prince will continue to live on in spirit through his music, and the many lives he has touched.

Everything in its right place

By: Darien Campo
Staff Writer

Last week, Radiohead’s manager Brian Message announced that the band’s ninth album would be released on June 11. Fans around the world collectively rejoiced.

A few days later Radiohead released a statement saying that “Brian Message is not Radiohead’s manager […] any quotes from last night’s event […] should not be attributed to RadiohScreen Shot 2016-04-25 at 6.57.05 PMead’s management.” And fans around the world collectively groaned.

As one of the groaning fans, I have no idea where we stand at this point. All I know for sure is that sometime in the near future (probably (hopefully)) Radiohead is releasing a brand new album.

In the meantime, I’ve been playing my all-time favorite Radiohead release, “Kid A,” on repeat.

Released almost 16 years ago, “Kid A” marked Radiohead’s first dramatic transition from guitar-driven rock to the more ambient/electronic vibes of their latter releases. It’s hard to have a middle-of-the-road opinion of this album. Fans either loved the drastic shift in composition from their previous release, 1997’s “OK Computer,” or they felt betrayed that Radiohead’s newest work tends to sound more like electronica and dance music instead of rock songs. Context made this album so groundbreaking in 2000, but even today the music holds up as strongly as ever.

Even with a new sound, “Kid A” faithfully continues the work left off with “OK Computer” with its tone of synthesized calm. The cover art shows a vast landscape of snow and mountains, and just over the horizon we can see a forest in the distance burning to the ground. Through these songs, we get the feeling that something terribly wrong is happening, but the lyrics attempt to put up a front of forceful serenity that comes off as almost more frightening.

If you haven’t listened to this record in a while, or even if you’ve never heard it before, now is a great time to pick it up. Songs like “Everything In Its Right Place” and “Idioteque” give me chills everytime I hear them. “Kid A” was a marvelous step forward for Radiohead, and is now considered a defining album in their collection. Radiohead has said that their last album, “King of Limbs,” was a transitional period for them. With what little we’ve heard from members of the band, Radiohead’s (possible) upcoming release just might be another gamechanger for the band.

Review: LEMONADE

By: Ben Bergerson and Brianna Bonham

Good art makes you feel something, great art makes you feel what the artist is feeling, which is something that few artists can do repeatedly. Beyoncé has delivered provocative, beautiful music for years, so don’t be surprised that her new project slays on a new level.

The global superstar has blown the world away with her release of “LEMONADE,” a powerful visual album about infidelity. The hour-long release on HBO and Tidal took us through the pop star’s process of recovering from Jay Z’s “betrayal,” and fans suspect that it is also about her parent’s relationship.

The video is amazing. An artistic portrayal of her emotions throughout the grieving process, it consists of the tracks from the accompanying album “LEMONADE,” and spoken word poetry. Words such as “denial,” “anger,” “apathy,” “emptiness,” and “resurrection” flash across the screen, corresponding to the next scene. Beyoncé is unafraid to show her emotions in the video which created a genuine and raw product that was, at some points, difficult to listen to.

As “PRAY YOU CATCH ME,” the first track on the album, is played, Beyoncé sings while she is crouched on a stage, dressed in black. After that scene, she is shown in a room filled with water, floating and using spoken word poetry. “You can taste the dishonesty, it’s all over your breath…” are the last words she speaks before changing to the next scene.

The whole visual album is built this way, a combination of spoken word, songs from the album, and illustrative video. All this builds up to the end of the scene where she says, “But still inside me was the need to know … Are you cheating on me?” Our jaws dropped as it quickly switched to the next scene, leaving us to digest the shocking information.

Throughout the video she consistently features black women. She uses the poetry of Warsan Shire as interludes, and is joined by famous black women such as Serena Williams, Zendaya, and Quvanzhené Wallis. Blue Ivy and Jay Z are also in the video.

Featuring strong, black women in the setting that this video does celebrates their beauty and power through stunning visuals and representation.

Wrapping up the whole project, the title “LEMONADE” comes from a quote from her grandmother, Agnez Dereon: “I had my ups and downs but I always found the inner strength to pull myself up. I was served lemons, but I made lemonade.”

Contact the authors at bebergerson13@wou.edu and bbonham15@wou.edu or on Twitter @ben_bergerson or @brianna_bonham.