This week in entirely made up horoscopes….

Oct 8 2025 | The Signs as roommates

Aries: swears they don’t hate you but won’t follow you on insta

Taurus: NEVER wears their own clothes. Watch your closets, people.

Gemini: Do they even exist..? Never been seen.

Cancer: Constantly arguing on the phone with their significant other 

Leo: Their 27 alarms will wake you up before it wakes them up

Virgo: Says you look great in a bad outfit

Libra: Never home and always going out

Scorpio: Eats all your snacks and refuses to Venmo you

Sagittarius: Has a new guy over every week

Capricorn: hotboxes the room 24/7 so you get contact high

Aquarius: 7+ bottles of wine in the recycling every week

Pisces: Super performative, room is decorated with vinyls they’ve never listened to and books they’ve never read and while they’ll never say it they think you’re inferior to them in every way.