This week in completely made up horoscopes

The Western Howl Staff

Theme: The signs debate which season is the best

Aries 3/21-4/19  

Of course it’s fall.

Taurus 4/20-5/20

Summer because seasonal depression is real.

Gemini 5/21-6/20 

Not Spring, since nature decides I can’t breathe during this time.

Cancer 6/21-7/22

Summer babyyyyy (and not just because that’s when my b-day is)

Leo 7/23-8/22

Fall in Salem, Massachusetts is a vibe

Virgo 8/23-9/22

Spring so that I can take aesthetic cherry blossom pics

Libra 9/23-10/22

Fall, because the crunchy leaves bring some sense of happiness

Scorpio 10/23-11/21 

Idc as long as the temp is below 69°

Sagittarius 11/22-12/21

Winter duh.

Capricorn 12/22-1/19

Winter, that’s when I’m at the top of my game

Aquarius 1/20 – 2/18

Winter, because my crying is up 2.5% due to seasonal depression.

Pisces 2/19 – 3/20

Spring, because I can blame my tears on pollen allergies.