This week in completely made up horoscopes

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[fruitful_tab title=”Aries 3/21-4/19″] Duck! [/fruitful_tab]

[fruitful_tab title=”Taurus 4/20-5/20″] Have you heard how people have been spotting fairies and unicorns…? Yeah me neither. [/fruitful_tab]

[fruitful_tab title=”Gemini 5/21-6/20″] Welcome to rat season, sorry, Gemini season. [/fruitful_tab]

[fruitful_tab title=”Cancer 6/21-7/22″] We’re all just the Cabbage man from “Avatar.”

 

By the way. Go watch it. It’s on Netflix now. You have no excuses. [/fruitful_tab]

[fruitful_tab title=”Leo 7/23-8/22″] Duck! [/fruitful_tab]

[fruitful_tab title=”Virgo 8/23-9/22″] Oh, Worm. [/fruitful_tab]

[fruitful_tab title=”Libra 9/23-10/22″] Im a zebra [/fruitful_tab]

[fruitful_tab title=”Scorpio 10/23-11/21″] Wait, I didn’t realize that my online classes weren’t optional. Rough. [/fruitful_tab]

[fruitful_tab title=”Sagittarius 11/22-12/21″] Sagittarius will be gone this week. Hello, my name is kaiyo and here’s my message for you, “I’m going to hydro flask you.” [/fruitful_tab]

[fruitful_tab title=”Capricorn 12/22-1/19″] *hears classes will be online next term* nO NO you put that sentence back in your mouth. [/fruitful_tab]

[fruitful_tab title=”Aquarius 1/20-2/18″] Goose!

Ew, why did I just do that? [/fruitful_tab]

[fruitful_tab title=”Pisces 2/19-3/20″] Please excuse me as I watch ten straight hours of “Gilmore Girls” and pretend that this term is over already. [/fruitful_tab]

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