This week in entirely made up horoscopes

The Signs in a horror movie:

Aries: Decides to argue with the killer instead of trying to escape

Taurus: Dies while leaving their hiding spot to find a snack

Gemini: killed mid-yap

Cancer: frat bro who dresses up as the killer to scare people

Leo: Sacrifices friend to save themself

Virgo: survives, but at what cost?

Libra: The geek that thinks they’re smarter than everyone 

Scorpio: Befriends the killer

Sagittarius: The dumb cheerleader that dies first

Capricorn: The real killer

Aquarius: Survives by making a flamethrower out of perfume and a lighter

Pisces: The supposed killer