This week in entirely made up horoscopes

The Signs’ favorite class

Aries: philosophy, so I can say my inner thoughts and still sound smart

Taurus: Lunch hour 

Gemini: animal psychology because it’s cooler than regular psychology

Cancer: nap time… like in preschool 

Leo: recess!

Virgo: gender studies

Libra: art history…

Scorpio: the one your mom teaches

Sagittarius: Sex Ed

Capricorn: Cliterature

Aquarius: psychology so I can finally understand what’s wrong with me

Pisces: Music