This week in entirely made up horoscopes….

Oct 29 2025 | The Signs as Obscure Halloween Costumes

Aries: The Festivus Pole

Taurus: Bruce the shark from Nemo

Gemini: definitely an offensive sexy nun

Cancer: Playboy Bunny

Leo: The “my leg!” guy from Spongebob

Virgo: Punk Jojo Siwa

Libra: Howard dressed up as Sheldon Cooper in the Big Bang Theory

Scorpio: Ross’s “Spudnik” costume from Friends

Sagittarius: Weird barbie from the Barbie Movie

Capricorn: The Dune sandworm popcorn bucket

Aquarius: bowling ball

Pisces: Some obscure historical figure they didn’t know about until a week ago.