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[fruitful_tab title=”Aries 3/21-4/19″] The perfect horoscope doesn’t exi-… oh wait, Sagittarius knows what’s up. [/fruitful_tab]

[fruitful_tab title=”Taurus 4/20-5/20″] We are but specks of dust to the universe. Live life inconsequentially. [/fruitful_tab]

[fruitful_tab title=”Gemini 5/21-6/20″] The stars watched as you did homework for a full two minutes, opened a new tab, and started looking for hotels and flights for a spontaneous vacay. Stay focused, Gemini. [/fruitful_tab]

[fruitful_tab title=”Cancer 6/21-7/22″] -_- < 😀 [/fruitful_tab]

[fruitful_tab title=”Leo 7/23-8/22″] Treat yourself! Go make yourself some skillet potatoes. You will never regret it. [/fruitful_tab]

[fruitful_tab title=”Virgo 8/23-9/22″] Don’t forget to eat breakfast. Otherwise you’re gonna be that one kid whose stomach rumbles really loudly in class and you’ll play it off really awkwardly like, “what was that noise??” but in reality we literally all heard it come from your stomach, Virgo. [/fruitful_tab]

[fruitful_tab title=”Libra 9/23-10/22″] Don’t look at the stars like that, Libra. We didn’t tell you to start your essay at 11 p.m. [/fruitful_tab]

[fruitful_tab title=”Scorpio 10/23-11/21″] You’re already procrastinating on your homework, Scorpio? You really are on another level. [/fruitful_tab]

[fruitful_tab title=”Sagittarius 11/22-12/21″] The stars demand that you get more than five hours of sleep this week. But this is definitely one of those “do as we say, not as we do” moments… [/fruitful_tab]

[fruitful_tab title=”Capricorn 12/22-1/19″] Remember that movie “Surf’s Up” with all those penguin surfers? Me neither. [/fruitful_tab]

[fruitful_tab title=”Aquarius 1/20-2/18″] Way to keep up with all your work this first week Aquarius! Now you only have 10 mo— wait, where are you going? Aquarius?! [/fruitful_tab]

[fruitful_tab title=”Pisces 2/19-3/20″] Just because there is a free big gulp behind 7-Eleven doesn’t mean you should take it, Pisces. [/fruitful_tab]

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