This week in completely made up horoscopes

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[fruitful_tab title=”Aries 3/21-4/19″] Everything is fine. It definitely wasn’t a bad idea to start all your assignments for your online class during finals week. [/fruitful_tab]

[fruitful_tab title=”Taurus 4/20-5/20″] Power through, Taurus. Pain is temporary, grades are forever. [/fruitful_tab]

[fruitful_tab title=”Gemini 5/21-6/20″] One more final ‘til freedom. We believe in you. YOU’VE GOT THIS. *Insert studying montage with “The Final Countdown” by Europe playing in the background* [/fruitful_tab]

[fruitful_tab title=”Cancer 6/21-7/22″] Let’s play a drinking game. For every procrastinated assignment this term, take a drink! Yep, that’s all there is to it, but that’s all it will take. (Note: The stars want you to please drink responsibly). [/fruitful_tab]

[fruitful_tab title=”Leo 7/23-8/22″] You can make cooked bread by carefully inserting raw bread into a toaster. Make sure to have adult supervision. [/fruitful_tab]

[fruitful_tab title=”Virgo 8/23-9/22″] Are you ready to head back home for break? Don’t you just miss the family time, the home cooked meals, the curfews, the chores, the barrage of questioning and the overly-loud family get togethers? Feels good to be home. [/fruitful_tab]

[fruitful_tab title=”Libra 9/23-10/22″] The stars think it’s a good time to remind you that multiple cups of caffeinated beverages do not technically count as a meal. [/fruitful_tab]

[fruitful_tab title=”Scorpio 10/23-11/21″] Cereal is not a type of soup, and anyone trying to tell you that is a liar. [/fruitful_tab]

[fruitful_tab title=”Sagittarius 11/22-12/21″] Pro tip: playing holiday music while you study makes finals week merrier. [/fruitful_tab]

[fruitful_tab title=”Capricorn 12/22-1/19″]Cereal IS a type of soup, and anyone trying to tell you otherwise is a liar. Live your best life, Capricorn. [/fruitful_tab]

[fruitful_tab title=”Aquarius 1/20-2/18″] Brain. Fried. Wake the stars up in three weeks when Winter Term starts. We need our break, too. [/fruitful_tab]

[fruitful_tab title=”Pisces 2/19-3/20″] FINALS. FINALS. FINALS. SO BUSY, HALF OF THE STAFF FORGOT TO DO THEIR HOROSCOPES KINDA FINALS. INCLUDING. PISCES. BUT NICE JOB, NONETHELESS! [/fruitful_tab]

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