This week in completely made up horoscopes

The Western Howl Staff

Theme: What’s driving the signs mad?

Aries 3/21-4/19  


Taurus 4/20-5/20

When there aren’t any Uber Eats couriers in the area. 

Gemini 5/21-6/20 

a s—-y wifi connection 

Cancer 6/21-7/22

A milkshake, it’s bringing all these boys to my yard and idk why

Leo 7/23-8/22


Virgo 8/23-9/22

My plants keep dying and I don’t know what to do anymore

Libra 9/23-10/22

The fact that it’s March again?? Disgusting

Scorpio 10/23-11/21 

Shoes that look like rats

Sagittarius 11/22-12/21

Waiting for the WandaVision finale….!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Capricorn 12/22-1/19

ya know, life

Aquarius 1/20 – 2/18

Potatoes that aren’t baked to perfection

Pisces 2/19 – 3/20

Most times I find the end of the term bittersweet. Not this time.

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