This week in completely made up horoscopes

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[fruitful_tab title=”Aries 3/21-4/19″] Time to start my year-long backpacking adventure across the wilds of New Mexico! See ya on the flipside ∠( ̄^ ̄) [/fruitful_tab]

[fruitful_tab title=”Taurus 4/20-5/20″] What do you get when you mix a ladybug, a rabbit and a lizard?

Who knows, but I definitely do want to see it. [/fruitful_tab]

[fruitful_tab title=”Gemini 5/21-6/20″] I have no idea what day it is. I stay up until 6 a.m. working, go to bed, and then wake up at 2 p.m. to start the cycle again. Is today Friday? [/fruitful_tab]

[fruitful_tab title=”Cancer 6/21-7/22″] You’ve got that emotional sauce, man.

Go protest. [/fruitful_tab]

[fruitful_tab title=”Leo 7/23-8/22″] When life gives you lemons, give them back and say you want coffee [/fruitful_tab]

[fruitful_tab title=”Virgo 8/23-9/22″] How do I avoid stress? I just don’t write it down. If I don’t write it down, I don’t do it. And if I don’t do it, I don’t stress about it. [/fruitful_tab]

[fruitful_tab title=”Libra 9/23-10/22″] Bye [/fruitful_tab]

[fruitful_tab title=”Scorpio 10/23-11/21″] I should’ve known better. The year never ends easy. Good luck to everyone else. [/fruitful_tab]

[fruitful_tab title=”Sagittarius 11/22-12/21″] PLS DON’T LEAVE ME. I’M GOING TO MISS YOU. WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY??!! [/fruitful_tab]

[fruitful_tab title=”Capricorn 12/22-1/19″] My mind has snapped like a stale breadstick. [/fruitful_tab]

[fruitful_tab title=”Aquarius 1/20-2/18″] I’d say I’ve already left the building, but I’m scared to go outside… hold me. [/fruitful_tab]

[fruitful_tab title=”Pisces 2/19-3/20″] Time to sleep through the entirety of summer bc I’m exhausted af. [/fruitful_tab]

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