This week in completely made up horoscopes

[fruitful_tabs type=”accordion” width=”100%” fit=”false”]

[fruitful_tab title=”Aries 3/21-4/19″] AYYY BEP BEP BEP BEP BEP BEP. [/fruitful_tab]

[fruitful_tab title=”Taurus 4/20-5/20″] Just give up already, not working anyway. [/fruitful_tab]

[fruitful_tab title=”Gemini 5/21-6/20″] Dude, Gemini’s and their little rat fingers. [/fruitful_tab]

[fruitful_tab title=”Cancer 6/21-7/22″] Be more like Obi-Wan. Take the high ground. Be the high ground. [/fruitful_tab]

[fruitful_tab title=”Leo 7/23-8/22″] How does take to screw lightbulb in.      25.63 [/fruitful_tab]

[fruitful_tab title=”Virgo 8/23-9/22″] I scream, you scream, we all scream. Everyone’s incompetent. Dick Cheney made money off the Iraq War. Stars. [/fruitful_tab]

[fruitful_tab title=”Libra 9/23-10/22″] Have you heard of the Giant Salamander? [/fruitful_tab]

[fruitful_tab title=”Scorpio 10/23-11/21″] Better out than in I say. [/fruitful_tab]

[fruitful_tab title=”Sagittarius 11/22-12/21″] BIG BOTO [/fruitful_tab]

[fruitful_tab title=”Capricorn 12/22-1/19″] Do you hAve any moRE AlmOnd mIIILLLLk? [/fruitful_tab]

[fruitful_tab title=”Aquarius 1/20-2/18″] Look out. I’ll eat a pig any way, any day. [/fruitful_tab]

[fruitful_tab title=”Pisces 2/19-3/20″] Don’t let this sunshine deceive you. It’s still like -30 degrees outside. [/fruitful_tab]

[/fruitful_tabs]