This week in completely made up horoscopes

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[fruitful_tab title=”Aries 3/21-4/19″] Second week, you’re already wishing school was done… but wait, there’s more.

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[fruitful_tab title=”Taurus 4/20-5/20″] Only one week in, and you’ve already lost all your new pens and pencils huh, Taurus? [/fruitful_tab]

[fruitful_tab title=”Gemini 5/21-6/20″] The stars know you’re not really into school spirit, but would it hurt you to say “’Sco Wolves” every now and then? [/fruitful_tab]

[fruitful_tab title=”Cancer 6/21-7/22″] I know you’re full of salt, Cancer. Just remember that some people are slugs. [/fruitful_tab]

[fruitful_tab title=”Leo 7/23-8/22″] It’s time for some “you time” — eat a burrito if you need to. [/fruitful_tab]

[fruitful_tab title=”Virgo 8/23-9/22″] Do you have all of your notebooks color coordinated for classes? Of course you do, you’ve had this planned for weeks. [/fruitful_tab]

[fruitful_tab title=”Libra 9/23-10/22″] You’re still mad that someone stole your seat, even though it’s only the second week of class. [/fruitful_tab]

[fruitful_tab title=”Scorpio 10/23-11/21″] Should you have listened? Maybe. Did you? No. [/fruitful_tab]

[fruitful_tab title=”Sagittarius 11/22-12/21″] Don’t forget to drink water responsibly. [/fruitful_tab]

[fruitful_tab title=”Capricorn 12/22-1/19″] Do you remember? The 21st night of September? Of course you don’t. [/fruitful_tab]

[fruitful_tab title=”Aquarius 1/20-2/18″] You wish you had that Beyonce vibe right about now… But you don’t. #farfetcheddreaming [/fruitful_tab]

[fruitful_tab title=”Pisces 2/19-3/20″] Me: Just trying to get through Week 2.

My last two brain cells: HE WAS A ONE-EYED ONE-HORNED FLYING PURPLE PEOPLE EATER ONE EYED ONE-HORNED FLYING PURPLE PEOPLE EATER ONE EYED ONE-HORNED FLYING PURPLE EATER suuuRE LOOKS STRANGE TO ME!!!! [/fruitful_tab]

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