Aries: Screaming into the crusty dorm carpet during their “floor time”

Taurus: Hating group projects, talking to people, listening to people, interacting with people… people.

Gemini: Being asked to put your phone away in class won’t stop your eight hours of daily screen time, but at least they tried.

Cancer: Wanting to go home and cry in the bathtub with a glass of red wine after every school day does not make me an alcoholic

Leo: I’m tired of being the bigger person — time to ghost my group members the way they ghosted me.

Virgo: You should totally go get a little sweet treat. 

Libra: Please DO NOT go to Claire’s to get an impulsive piercing. Please. 

Scorpio: Staying in bed all of  2024… Starting now 

Sagittarius: What a year this week has been.

Capricorn: I’m gonna do what’s called a “pro-gamer move” *has a panic attack*

Aquarius: How many classes can I skip without my professor noticing? The answer is probably none. 

Pisces: Screaming at video games instead of doing homework isn’t a personality trait