By: Katrina Penaflor Managing Editor
In a mom-and-pop dry cleaners in Dallas, Texas, it has been reported—and I use the term reported very loosely—that a man looking oddly similar to Ted Cruz was seen picking up some sort of Zodiac Killer-esque costume on May 5.
The costume, which may or may not be just an oversized black hoodie, was washed by an employee named Robin.
“I was given very specific directions by the man who placed the order to not remove the Cruz 2016 button from the garment. I tried to tell the man it would affect the cleaning, and that Cruz had recently ended his campaign, but he said, ‘leave it on, dammit,’” Robin said.
Robin was unfortunately unable to identify the man beyond saying he had brown hair. When asked what name was left on the order form, Robin showed a copy and under “name” it read “noT the ZoDiaC KiLleR.”
The second eyewitness, who wishes to be unnamed for obvious reasons, said Cruz entered the dry cleaner wearing a white button down shirt that definitely needed to be tailored, and when he exited the establishment he had the black cloak on and was wearing black framed glasses.
“That’s when I knew it was the Zodiac Killer,” he said. “I also saw him get in a gold minivan that was driven by a blonde woman in a pink pant suit. She even got out of the car and yelled at him to hurry up.”
Another Cruz spotting, which can definitely not be confirmed because I overheard two teenage boys talking about it while I waited in line at McDonald’s, said Cruz was also seen earlier that morning at a nearby Party City.
He allegedly asked an employee where their costume selection was, and quickly grew furious when he discovered they had sold out of their adult size large Zodiac Killer costumes.
He left the store in a rage, accidently punching and elbowing multiple employees and shoppers in the face on his way out.
Contact the author at journalmanaging@wou.edu or on Twitter @JournalKatrina
