Mount Hood

Booze & Reviews: “Shaun of the Dead”

A scary but heartwarmingly funny movie in the perspective of two and a half reviewers

Allison Vanderzanden | Lifestyle Editor
Sydney Carpenter | News Editor
Rylie Horrall | Managing Editor

TW: Alcohol consumption

While it’s not the type of horror movie that’s actually scary, “Shaun of the Dead” was able to give us some good laughs for a drunk movie review. Be cautious of spoilers, and please drink responsibly.

Allison Vanderzanden | Lifestyle Editor

I’m just going to start b ysaying that I had no idea what even genre we were watching going in it was so much dry humor that i was confused because i thought we were watching a horror movie??? Sure enough it’a spooky half way through, people are dying, people are moaning and groaning and also dying, and more people are dying cuz they’re killing ebveryone. Horror movie indeed. 

ANyway it actually got emotional and i looked it up and it has a 92% on rotten tomatoes??? Again, not what I expected but i must agree that the mix of horror and comedy was actually impressive ive never experienced such a movie btu it was cool. I dont think horror movies that have zombies are ever that great but like i said, it was cool. GG shaun and the dead. And liz. And the other lady who saved them. OH AND ED WHO”S STILL IN THE SHED. gg to him too. Hahhaha. Ed in the shed. New title for the movie. JK SPOILERS

Sydney Carpenter | News Editor

Welcome to part two of sydney gets drunk what a wild ride folks all i have to say is i fell a sleep during the move and have absolutely not recollection of what actually happened that right ladies gentlemen i fell asleep and i have no regrets anway from what i remmevver that actually had toilet paper evern though dead peope were weeveyr where like wtf like we ran out of toliet paper 3 dayin into a pandemic and then on top of it they didn’t even run out of power anyway im exhausted and i’ve learned my limit is two because holy moly     we are not having it plz and thank you rip my tinder messages peace out girl scouts

Rylie Horrall | Managing Editor

Okay FIRST my man ed was so great, he shaped up his act and was so chillbeat th e end they played games together still!1 he was shooting zombies as a ZOMEBI thats whats the jiikd wird uhhh intraceptive? Idk but lso RIP MOOOOOMM :(((( i knew she was bitten but like SAADADA. Oh and f–k the one guy david? The four eys t–t, david i think he died and that wasnt sad, he was a d—-e so kike theswe things happen to d——-s

I actually didnt liek hate th e moveiw but i don’t think it woudlbt have the same eefect if sober, it was p bad but bad in a good terrible way, theers another i thinking which THAT wukd be fun, like did liz stay with shaun even thoug his bf is deade in the garage? Probably, shes a nice lady i liek her ans she was GOREGOEU FR NO CAP

In conclusion, rip my man ed, well be  asd ab trmom as always, and f–k david d—–g

Booze & reviews: “Valentine’s Day”

A comedic romance in the perspective of three drunken reviewers

Kyle Morden | Head Designer

Allison Vanderzanden | Lifestyle Editor

Sydney Carpenter | News Editor

“Valentine’s Day” may not have scored high on Rotten Tomatoes, but it sure makes for a great drunk movie night. Read our full reviews in our online issue, which may contain spoilers. Please drink responsibly.

Kyle Morden | Head Designer

This needs to be put out there. If Allie doesn’t say this, SHE IS PISSING WHILE WRITING THIS> 

Love, cheating, thriller, jason, harry styles, queen beyonce, and valentines day — a day full of lonely a– b—–s who somehow get a love interest by the end of the day?? EVEN THIS LITTLE A– 7 YEAR OLD GETS HIS ONWN MOTHER BACK?? “Lmao im 7 and love sick” B—H WHAT ABOUT MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEWSEFERSFDRSGFDRGFGFRGdfgfsjhfvsgfsjhghkjfbvdjkbfhjsdbhjvhbfhbhjvbjnkvbjnkfnk?????????fjkhsgjcgkhhbjkhjkgfbgjfhgfxhjgyibfhhsdjkbzakuhks. Btw. military families amitire? Love em. Thank god that military mom came back for her son. Btw tbh i only remember the actors name (bradley cooper hit me up)

Valentines day is a day where a lot of people get f—-d (up to your interpretation uwu)

Ok ok so “valentine’s day” a movie full of twist and turns and sharkboy and lavagirl — without the lava girl and shark. How the f–k do you get two taylors into one movie??? LET ALONE HAVE THEM DATE EACH OTHER??????????????????????

ANNIE HATHAWAT IS OKAY WITH PEOPLE WITH FETISHES, BUT BACK OFF. SHES MINE. SO IS BRADLEY COOPER — HE LOVES ME. B—H

I accidentally deleted my last paragraph, so go watch this movie yourself.

GAY COUPLES ARE THE ONLY COUPLES. ALSO DONT F—–G GROUP ALLIE WITH ME. SHES CRAZy. She said shes rolling, but idk if she means the drug or literally rolling on the floor? Dont do drugs, drink responsibly

How much do i need to type? I dont remember a word count. I KNOW HOW TO FINISH THIS.

Overall review: Let’s get naked~ uwu

Slide into my dms @_kylemorden on instagram 😉

Or contact the author at chealy16@wou.edu

Allison Vanderzanden | Lifestyle Editor

Okay first of all i was NOT too into this movie i was just having fun. MY ROOMMATE was into it tho

I would like to preface my review with the fact that i know none of the characters names, only taylor and taylor. I am inept when it comes to celebrities

Rotten tomatoes is WRONG, I had an AMAZING time watching this movie even though I was really confused. Who’s at the airport??? Whos barely legal in high school??? I could not tell you I could not

But listen. Really. It’s a fun movie to watch drunk. Tbh itd probably be Bad if I was not intoxicated. But it was cute! It was nice! There was representation! Gay men and single mums! We support them all!!! GAY BRADLEY COOPER!!!!!!!

Even through the confusion i was extremely satisfied w/ the ending. Through the MULTIPLE PG-13 sex scenes, there was still a sweet undertone where everyone got a happy ending uwu Not that I shouvlde expected ANY less from a 2010 rom com. Google “romcom drinking games” and watch this movie, you’ll have a fantastic time.

Contact the author at avanderzanden19@mail.wou.edu or don;t

Sydney Carpenter | News Editor

Okay so this what I got from this, please note this is my first time being drunk in my life. There were a lot of straight people but at some point we were gay and it was beautiful. I’m convinced all of these people were stunt doubles cause there absolutely no way all these famous people got together. The stunt doubles failed to give me wolf man and sharkboy there was sex scenes sometimes which was fine but i wasn’t really paying attention because I was busy eating my chili fries there was a little boy with a lot of angst for no reason over a cougar woman In conclustion roses are expensive af, and this mans was throwing them in the lake to feed ducks and thats acceptable.  THE MILITARY MOM CAME BACK AND IT WAS BEAUTIFUL. Im going to bed 

Dont email me, i wont’ reply email thank you

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