Making resolutions is nice, but fixating on our flaws is not

Cora McClain | Editor-in-Chief

Exercise more, eat healthy, keep to a study schedule, read 30 books by the end of the year, etc. — typical resolutions like these permeate throughout little (or long) lists we use for yearly self-improvement. Each year, we look in the mirror and list out all of our flaws and make meaningless lists on how to improve upon those flaws. Jokes have been made time and time again, but New Year’s resolutions usually last about as long as the holiday — one day or less. The way we construct our list of resolutions makes them so breakable.

Our New Year’s resolutions are reflections of our “perfect” selves: the ones who rock climb, the ones who cook, the ones who keep houseplants alive, but they are not ourselves. We create unattainable goals that are pass/fail with no wiggle room. Changing behavior doesn’t happen overnight, and too often we expect to be able to be at the level of our “perfect” selves by Jan. 1. It is simply unattainable, and only adds to a self-deprecating culture in which we don’t hold ourselves accountable.

That being said, I don’t hate goal setting; in fact, I think goal setting is the key to success. I just think that we put way too much pressure on ourselves to force ourselves to change who we are. Good positive change takes time and work, starting small and building towards that big change. Otherwise, forcing a huge change from the get go will only lead to lackluster results. We need to move towards kinder and more attainable goal-setting in order to facilitate change and improvement in our lives.

I have found a lot of clarity in how to create attainable resolutions in Leena Norms’ video on the topic, “Lies you’re told about new years resolutions.” She gives many tips on how to break the New Year’s resolution mold and look at the yearly tradition in a more creative and positive light. While watching her video, I discovered a trend — people aim too high and are far too harsh on themselves by believing New Year’s resolutions have to look a certain way. In reality, you can make anything a resolution, decide anyway to measure it and give yourself as much wiggle room as you need. It doesn’t always have to be “go vegan or go home.”

Contact the author at cmcclain17@mail.wou.edu