Mount Hood

This week in completely made up HORRORscopes

El personal de Western Howl

Theme: Halloween / Horror

 

Aries 21-4/19  

Wait … what’s that behind you? 

 

Tauro 4/20-5/20

Nothing can scare you when you’re already dead. 

 

Géminis 21/5-6/20 

I’ve got something that’ll scare you: 4 midterms on the SAME DAY

 

Cáncer 21/6-7/22

Kxpdq vrgd, L’p jrqqd gulqn lw olnh d shuvrq. (Caesar)

 

Leo 7/23-8/22

Week five -shiver-

 

Virgo 8/23-9/22

Believe in the power of the Mothman. 

 

Libra 9/23-10/22

BOO

 

Escorpio 10/23-11/21 

The real treasure is the demons we bring home from the journey

 

Sagitario 22/11-12/21

I wonder if squirrels can haunt you… I wish I was a squirrel.

 

Capricornio 12/22-1/19

I have a message from the ghost that’s been following me since I was 12: he says ‘boo!’

 

Acuario 1/20 - 2/18

Spooky scary midterms send shivers down your mind.

 

Piscis 2/19 - 3/20

The only scary thing about halloween that I enjoy are the zombie shaped chocolates. 

Esta semana en horóscopos completamente inventados

El personal de Western Howl

Aries 21-4/19  

Gang gang. 

 

Tauro 4/20-5/20

Just … go back to sleep.

 

Géminis 21/5-6/20 

haven’t had coffee yet, pls don’t talk to me

 

Cáncer 21/6-7/22

“I wish I could, but I don’t want to.”

 

Leo 7/23-8/22

Out on lunch break, will be back next week 

 

Virgo 8/23-9/22

As the days get shorter, you become your true self. Embrace the dark, baby.

 

Libra 9/23-10/22

No <3

 

Escorpio 10/23-11/21 

Some fish can walk out of water, but will they climb trees?

 

Sagitario 22/11-12/21

Hey, I hope you have a wonderful day — you deserve it! Get out there and DEVOUR SOME AVOCADOS.

 

Capricornio 12/22-1/19

Go to bed early tonight, treat yourself to at least 8 hours of sleep 🙂

 

Acuario 1/20 - 2/18

Is it just me, or is my FBI man listening a little too well?

 

Piscis 2/19 - 3/20

Go ahead and buy that extra sticker for your water bottle. You deserve it. 

Esta semana en horóscopos completamente inventados

El personal de Western Howl

Aries 21-4/19  

Who else is getting up at 6 a.m. to run? Just me?

 

Tauro 4/20-5/20

Let’s not and say we did…

 

Géminis 21/5-6/20 

Yeah, no I’m going back to bed, later.

 

Cáncer 21/6-7/22

Morsmordre!

 

Leo 7/23-8/22

FABULOUS JUST FABULOUS

 

Virgo 8/23-9/22

Mercury is not in retrograde. You can blame Earth for your problems.

 

Libra 9/23-10/22

Have a lovely cup of tea and talk with a stranger

 

Escorpio 10/23-11/21 

No Scorp…io

 

Sagitario 22/11-12/21

Contact the author at smartinez17@wou.edu

 

Capricornio 12/22-1/19

Salad is just a vehicle for croutons, thanks for coming to my TED Talk

 

Acuario 1/20 - 2/18

Don’t mind me, just going to go casually have a breakdown in the men’s room, thanks.

 

Piscis 2/19 - 3/20

“Suck it up and ask for help” – E.M. 2020

Esta semana en horóscopos completamente inventados

El personal de Western Howl

Aries 21-4/19  

Sometimes staying up until 3am watching docuseries isn’t the best idea but go off.

 

Tauro 4/20-5/20

Astrology isn’t a lie and you should continue arguing with your parents about it. #fightthegoodfight

 

Géminis 21/5-6/20 

*eats popcorn while watching Taurus fight with their parents*

 

Cáncer 21/6-7/22

We’ve come to burgle your turts.

 

Leo 7/23-8/22

My apocalypse bingo card has a bingo, what do I win?

 

Virgo 8/23-9/22

I’ll be going back to bed after morning Zoom meetings and you should too

 

Libra 9/23-10/22

If the stars align right hopefully I’ll be a millionaire by the 22nd

 

Escorpio 10/23-11/21 

Excuse me while I avoid my class meetings so I can continue to binge Netflix shows

 

Sagitario 22/11-12/21

LET ME OUTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT pls 🙂 oh and don’t listen to capricorn 🙂

 

Capricornio 12/22-1/19

Welcome back everyone, good to see you. Oh wait ⏤ waiting…??????? WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME?

Side note: sagittarius is lying, you should def listen 🙂

 

Acuario 1/20 - 2/18

Listen to a Virgo this week, for they are wise [(--)]..zzZ

 

Piscis 2/19 - 3/20

Hey there delilah what’s it like there in 2021? Im 3 months away but tonight you look so pretty…