Dear Ezi,

I have been struggling with self-confidence. I just feel worthless and ugly. I can’t find anything I like about me, even though all my friends constantly shower me with compliments. Any advice?

Thanks,

Confidence Conundrum

Dear CC,

I know that this is something so many people struggle with — I even have trouble with this sometimes! I have many tips, some I’ve read about and some I use, for you!

First of all, how you dress is as important as what your brain thinks. If you love your outfit and it’s something you rock, you will feel so much more confident. Wear something that you may not have worn before from your closet.

I know one thing I like to wear that can help me is a shawl cape thing. It makes me feel like a wizard! I also wear big hats from time to time. It’s kinda silly but it helps me feel tall and powerful! You just gotta find your wizard shawl and hat!

Next, fake it ‘til you make it! Posture is very helpful: stand tall, puff your chest out slightly, and — this is the only time I will encourage someone to be straight — stand straight and pull your shoulders back! It does wonders for posture and confidence.

Another tip is what I have seen called the “Murder Walk”. It’s a powerful tool for everyone and works for everyone. Walk like you are on a mission and walk with purpose. If you know superheroes, walk like the Winter Soldier. If not, walk like you are the most important person in the world and you have to get to your destination ASAP!

Remember you are a queen, king or royal and you are a wonderful and unique person. Nobody else can determine your self-worth for you. Friends are great but they cannot do everything.

Two final tips that I have for you is see the worth in others. Compliment people liberally! The person at the coffee shop who’s earrings you liked, tell them! The secretary sitting at his desk, tell him his tie is a great color! You’ll brighten other people’s day and start to see the silver lining. Finally, consider talking to the school’s counselors at the Student Health and Counseling Center. I am naught but a humble drag queen, but I personally know a thing or two about depression and this is a way I got support.

Hope this helped!