The signs if they were bugs:
Aries: a large wet Western worm
Taurus: dragonfly
Gemini: firefly in a jar
Cancer: Semi-aggressive mantis staring into your soul, test me…
Leo: C–ty little moth
Virgo: Honey bee
Libra: Pink sticky note with eight googly eyes on it
Scorpio: Atlas Moth due to their 13” wingspan, duh
Sagittarius: Homosexual Cicada
Capricorn: That one worm in Brazil that crawls up urethras
Aquarius: WOU’s trash squirells
Pisces: Morpho butterfly like the dude from The Matrix
The signs watch a horror movie
Aries: imagining themselves as the final girl
Taurus: ‘This is so dumb’
Gemini: laughing at the “scary” parts
Cancer: passed out after the first 5 minutes
Leo: telling everyone they could survive each scenario
Virgo: attracted to the villain
Libra: disgusted by the gore but overall unfazed
Scorpio: oddly fascinated (don’t question it)
Sagittarius: closed my eyes during “Jurassic Park”
Capricorn: complaining about all the inaccuracies in the gore
Aquarius: unbothered- bring them something scarier
Pisces: thinking of their serial killer name
What are the signs bringing to the picnic?
Aries: cream cheese and cucumber finger sandwiches 🙂
Taurus: the ‘special’ brownies.
Gemini: nothing but a fighting spirit against pollen
Cancer: extra strong allergy meds
Leo: bringing the char-cootcherie board
Virgo: A whole gallon of kombucha
Libra: The most elaborate and beautiful charcuterie board ever created (you can’t eat it unless they take pictures of it first)
Scorpio: your mother.
Sagittarius: strawberry lemonade and the Advil
Capricorn: enough caffeine to kill a small horse
Aquarius: all the chips
Pisces: wine
The signs during Spring break:
Aries: CELEBRATING THEIR BIRTHDAYS RAHHHH
Taurus: Doing nothing but cooking, sleeping and recovering
Gemini: already in hot girl summer gear
Cancer: Thrifting a whole new wardrobe
Leo: Making friends with everyone at the beach
Virgo: passive aggressive spring cleaning
Libra: aggressive spring cleaning
Scorpio: cry.
Sagittarius: taking their free time out on others 🙂
Capricorn: trying to be an arsonist but isn’t succeeding
Aquarius: sleep.
Pisces: feet in the sand with a drink in each hand
The signs go on a date…
Aries: silently takes notes to debrief with the besties later
Taurus: kum n go
Gemini: immediately exposes all of their red flags
Cancer: Falls in love after being shown the absolute bare minimum
Leo: has a mental breakdown and goes home.
Virgo: Canceled last minute, berates themselves for making plans on a sacred friday evening
Libra: goes way over the top and overwhelms their date
Scorpio: Oh the date went well? Time to rent the U-Haul
Sagittarius: Date so crazy our first stop was couple’s counseling
Capricorn: *stuffs breadsticks into pockets*
Aquarius: doesn’t make it through the door
Pisces: I’m way overdressed for hotdogs in the park
The signs walk into a bar…
Aries: orders a shirley temple… extra cherries
Taurus: Immediately turns around because the bartender is cute
Gemini: tries to charm the bartender for free drinks (and fails)
Cancer: sees a man and walks out…
Leo: is this the punch line?
Virgo: Walks right back out
Libra: wonders which of the people they should stare at the whole night
Scorpio: “…ouch.”
Sagittarius: If they play Taylor Swift I’m going to throw hands and drinks
Capricorn: drunk crying in the bathroom all night
Aquarius: avoids eye contact with everyone
Pisces: Home! Sweet Home!
The Signs Snowed-in
Aries: sleeping for 12 hours straight
Taurus: debating on redownloading dating apps due to boredom
Gemini: on the fourth rewatch of Grey’s Anatomy
Cancer: Rearranging my room for the 100th time
Leo: losing my mind.
Virgo: ate shit on the ice trying to take out trash
Libra: Finally getting to that tbr list
Scorpio: I’m running out of canned soup and conversation topics with my cats
Sagittarius: no longer on speaking terms with my roommate
Capricorn: Reading smut books and overcaffeinated
Aquarius: Rotting with my video games
Pisces: makes a playlist so they can stare off into the distance
WESTERN OREGON UNIVERSITY
345 Monmouth Ave. N.
Monmouth OR 97361
503-838-8000 | 1-877-877-1593