This week in entirely made up horoscopes….

The Signs as Crayola Colors:

Aries: Literally all of them

Taurus: Forest green

Gemini: sassy salmon

Cancer: brick red 

Leo: Dandelion yellow

Virgo: useless white

Libra: Purple Mountains’ Majesty

Scorpio: Screamin’ green

Sagittarius: Razzmatazz

Capricorn: Tickle me pink

Aquarius: Wild blue yonder

Pisces: laser lemon