The Signs’ New Year’s resolutions
Aries: Try to listen better… only if everyone agrees I’m right first
Taurus: Actually socialize
Gemini: become a hotter but worse person
Cancer: get. it. together.
Leo: Doesn’t even bother making any, because there is no possible way to be more perfect
Virgo: touch grass
Libra: Embracing that work life balance
Scorpio: collect more shiny things
Sagittarius: global domination
Capricorn: deciding next year’s resolution
Aquarius: Stop spending over $100 at Trader Joe’s
Pisces: Becoming the best version of myself