Justin Bieber leaves a lasting impression

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By: Alvin Wilson 
Staff Writer

After the unsuccessful attempt to deport Justin Bieber to Canada, Citizens for an America Without Bieber, an organization created with the goal of deporting Justin Bieber, decided that sending the pop idol to Monmouth, Oregon would have to do.

Bieber arrived in Monmouth on March 29 and was arrested within 24 hours by the Monmouth Police Department for drunk driving, reckless endangerment, and possession of illegal drugs.

According to eyewitness reports, Bieber left the Main Street Pub & Eatery after one too many drinks and got in his rented Lamborghini, mumbling something about wanting an ice cream cone.

“I knew there was something wrong when he stood up and peed his pants,” said one witness. “I put my hand on his shoulder to stop him, but he just said, ‘get out my way, yo,’ and stormed out.”

On his way to the Main Street Ice Cream Parlor, Bieber made an abrupt right turn, narrowly missed a group of students, and crashed into Crush Wine Bar and Tasting Room.

He totaled his Lamborghini and dealt considerable damage to the store’s front pillar and glass door.

Bieber mumbled, “I dvont member gettig outa ther plane,” as he was being pulled from his crushed vehicle. Authorities said they are unsure what he meant by the comment.

Upon Bieber’s arrest, authorities said they found alcohol, marijuana, Xanax, ecstasy, and several opioids in his system.

“It’s a wonder he was still conscious,” said Mark Simpson, Bieber’s arresting officer. “There was enough in his system to kill a small herd of elephants. I don’t think Monmouth is quite ready for a character like him.”

Since his arrest, Citizens for an America Without Bieber has made several more attempts to get Bieber deported. Authorities at the Monmouth Police Department say it is something they will strongly consider.

Contact the author at awilson15@wou.edu or on Twitter @awilsonjournal