Written by: Ruth Simonsen | Digital Media Manager
It happened again. Another ghosted date, another failed interview, another ruined friendship. It’s difficult to not let these situations affect you when they feel like a direct attack on your character. How could they have not fallen in love with you just after that one date? How could that employer not have hired you on the spot? How come your friend from high school now no longer follows you on Instagram?
These are questions that everyone has asked themselves at least once in their life. And, if you think you’re special because you haven’t encountered these thoughts yet, just be patient, your time will come.
Rejection is one of the few things everyone on this planet will experience at least once in their lifetime. Whether it is from a close partner or a coveted job, these feelings tend to find us when we’re least expecting it — leaving us shaken down to our core about our own sense of self. How could this person, who had once sworn that they love you, now pretend like you’re nothing but a stranger?
While it may be beneficial to ask yourself these questions, it is important to remember that not everything has to do with you. In our culture today, we have become so obsessed with ourselves that we make everything about us in every single way. We have two options we turn to: either blaming ourselves and beating ourselves up for nothing or putting all of our anger, hate and blame onto someone else.
These options are the easiest to turn to, though they may not be the healthiest for your mental state. Rather than creating blame and hurt feelings, try to first take a breath and a big step back from the situation. Imagine you’re just a bystander, looking in on a situation that does not concern them. Stay as unbiased as possible while contemplating.
What if it wasn’t your fault or their fault that the date ended poorly? Some people just do not click, and that is neither party’s fault. What if you didn’t get that job because a better one is waiting for you? Someday you’ll look back at that first rejection and be grateful it happened. What if that high school friend has just grown into a different person from who you once knew? Who’s to say you haven’t grown into a different person also? There is peace in knowing that not everyone that comes into your life is meant to stay forever.
Rejection can be a sign to reevaluate your current path, but it is never a sign to give up on your own journey of growth.
Contact the author at howldigitalmediamanager@mail.wou.edu
