Dear Esmeralda

Dear Esmeralda,

I want to get involved with some clubs on campus, meet some people with beautiful, sculpted faces and equally beautifully, sculpted future plans, and build up my resume — but I don’t know where to start! There are so many to choose from, so are there any good places you would recommend to get the gossip on them?

From,
Beautifully Sculpted Gossip Girl

Dear Beautifully Sculpted Gossip Girl,

What an eloquent and oddly poetic question! There are many places you can go, where you can meet all sorts of people, it depends on what you are looking for. I hear there are many as you so fantastically put it “beautifully sculpted faces” at the gym, however, as the beautiful and perfect human that I am, I have no need to go to places like that.

If, like me, exercise isn’t your thing, there are a lot of clubs you can join: Triangle Alliance (the LGBT* club on campus) is a good one to attend, plus the gays are a friendly and practical people. (I hear they even have a fairy princess mermaid there from time to time!) There is also the Multicultural Student Union (MSU for short) they do all sorts of events all around campus. Even if you don’t join the clubs, go to the events! Sometimes there are even people there (weird, I know!). Many clubs also coincide with academic interests, so find one for yours. Protip: many, if not all, of these clubs have Facebook pages, so look them up on there!

Finally, the best way to meet the perfect human specimen is to simply hang out on campus. It’s a small school, and you will always start to recognize someone.
Try the old razzle dazzle! If this fails and you still have no friends, just adopt thirty or so cats, dogs, or both, and join the cat/dog-person life. Cats and dogs are always solid, and beautiful, future plans! If animals aren’t your thing I remember hearing of a tale where a beautiful young girl was kidnaped and fell in love with her captor. What can go wrong with trying out what you see in movies or tv? Good luck on your résumé building work!

XOXO Gossip Gi… Wait that’s not me!

XOXO Esmeralda