Wolfie Exposed!

By: Rachael Jackson
Campus Life Editor

For the past week, campus life editor Rachael Jackson shadowed Wolfie to get an idea of the wolf behind the mask. This involved following him on trips around campus to raise spirits, outings with the athletes to games and other events, as well as sleeping in his den at night. What seemed like a quiet (if not fun) week ended up somewhere quite more nefarious.

Wolfie is far more than a mascot. He is an icon, a hero. For years, students have looked to him for guidance during the hard times, but also as a friend and confidant during the good times. But what do we really know about him? Because Wolfie communicates through school spirit rather than words, I knew that sitting him down for an interview would be difficult if not futile. And so, I took after following him on his daily grind.

I will admit that he was standoffish about the idea of having me stay the week with him. He seemed excited to have someone around with him during the day, but something unsettled him about having me there at night.

The first day was uneventful. I followed him to meetings, had dinner with the basketball team, and later watched the stars from the stadium bleachers.

His den was relocated to the field behind the turf field in 2012. It’s rather cozy and spacious with all the amenities a modern wolf would need. Despite the space, Wolfie sent me to the closet. I’m not one to argue, so into the closet I went.

Wolfie is open-minded and friendly, not the type to keep friends in the closet. So, on the third night shortly after midnight, I decided to wander freely to see why he would want me to stay locked away.

What I found was shocking.

Leading from the den entrance and into the kitchen were tufts of blood-splattered wool. I followed the trail and found an unmasked Wolfie hunched over the body of a sheep.

In an unbecoming move from a professional reporter such as myself, I let out a loud blood curdling shriek that sent Wolfie running to his room. Not wanting to be alone with the carcass, I followed after him.

Wolfie sat at the corner of his bed with his mask back on and tears pooling at his lap. On a crumbled Waremart receipt, he explained that he was not a monster, but just satiating his wolfish desires.

Despite domestication and school spirit training, Wolfie has not been able to escape his animalistic instincts. Every few weeks he keeps a fiendish desire for meat, so he wanders off to find suitable prey in the nearby farms.

Not sure about his mental state, I called the police and Wolfie is now undergoing psychiatric evaluation.