{"id":9773,"date":"2019-03-06T20:58:18","date_gmt":"2019-03-07T04:58:18","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.wou.edu\/westernhowl\/?p=9773"},"modified":"2019-03-06T20:58:18","modified_gmt":"2019-03-07T04:58:18","slug":"this-week-in-completely-made-up-horoscopes-11","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/wou.edu\/westernhowl\/this-week-in-completely-made-up-horoscopes-11\/","title":{"rendered":"This week in completely made up horoscopes"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"<\/p>\n

[fruitful_tabs type=”accordion” width=”100%” fit=”false”]<\/span><\/p>\n

[fruitful_tab title=”Aries 3\/21-4\/19″] Aries, you\u2019re on your own now. The stars need a break from being so awesome. Check back in after Spring Break and maybe we\u2019ll have some advice for you. [\/fruitful_tab]<\/span><\/p>\n

[fruitful_tab title=”Taurus 4\/20-5\/20″] Two more weeks… [\/fruitful_tab]<\/span><\/p>\n

[fruitful_tab title=”Gemini 5\/21-6\/20″] Alexa, take my finals for me. [\/fruitful_tab]<\/span><\/p>\n

[fruitful_tab title=”Cancer 6\/21-7\/22″]<\/span><\/p>\n

*Two snow days last week*<\/span><\/p>\n

Professors: More time to study and do homework, gives online assignments and extra reading<\/span><\/p>\n

Students: Plays in snow and watches Netflix, crams all the extra assignments the day before<\/span><\/p>\n

[\/fruitful_tab]<\/span><\/p>\n

[fruitful_tab title=”Leo 7\/23-8\/22″] YESSAH BLESSAH, NEVER STRESSAH. [\/fruitful_tab]<\/span><\/p>\n

[fruitful_tab title=”Virgo 8\/23-9\/22″] Look, Virgo. All you have to do is make it through the next two weeks and then you get to do literally nothing but sleep for an entire week. We believe in you. [\/fruitful_tab]<\/span><\/p>\n

[fruitful_tab title=”Libra 9\/23-10\/22″] When people say \u201ctake a risk\u201d, it doesn\u2019t mean starting an essay at 10 p.m. the night before, Libra. [\/fruitful_tab]<\/span><\/p>\n

[fruitful_tab title=”Scorpio 10\/23-11\/21″] In this world it\u2019s yeet or be yeeten. [\/fruitful_tab]<\/span><\/p>\n

[fruitful_tab title=”Sagittarius 11\/22-12\/21″] THE JONAS BROTHERS ARE COMING BACK. THIS IS BIG NEWS. [\/fruitful_tab]<\/span><\/p>\n

[fruitful_tab title=”Capricorn 12\/22-1\/19″] When in doubt, take a nap. [\/fruitful_tab]<\/span><\/p>\n

[fruitful_tab title=”Aquarius 1\/20-2\/18″] So close Aquarius, so close. Keep your spirits up in this dark time. [\/fruitful_tab]<\/span><\/p>\n

[fruitful_tab title=”Pisces 2\/19-3\/20″]<\/span><\/p>\n

HEAVY BREATHING IN A GYM WHILE STARING INTO A MIRROR.<\/span><\/p>\n

-Gym bro<\/span><\/p>\n

[\/fruitful_tab]<\/span><\/p>\n

[\/fruitful_tabs]<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

[fruitful_tabs type=”accordion” width=”100%” fit=”false”] [fruitful_tab title=”Aries 3\/21-4\/19″] Aries, you\u2019re on your own now. The stars need a break from being so awesome. Check back in after Spring Break and maybe we\u2019ll have some advice for you. [\/fruitful_tab] [fruitful_tab title=”Taurus 4\/20-5\/20″] Two more weeks… [\/fruitful_tab] [fruitful_tab title=”Gemini 5\/21-6\/20″] Alexa, take my finals for me. [\/fruitful_tab] [fruitful_tab […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1094,"featured_media":9000,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","_lmt_disableupdate":"","_lmt_disable":"","_et_pb_use_builder":"","_et_pb_old_content":"","_et_gb_content_width":"","footnotes":"","_links_to":"","_links_to_target":""},"categories":[25],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-9773","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-humor"],"modified_by":"The Western Howl","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/wou.edu\/westernhowl\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9773","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/wou.edu\/westernhowl\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/wou.edu\/westernhowl\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wou.edu\/westernhowl\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1094"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wou.edu\/westernhowl\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=9773"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/wou.edu\/westernhowl\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9773\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wou.edu\/westernhowl\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/9000"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/wou.edu\/westernhowl\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=9773"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wou.edu\/westernhowl\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=9773"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wou.edu\/westernhowl\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=9773"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}