{"id":9712,"date":"2019-02-27T23:18:06","date_gmt":"2019-02-28T07:18:06","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.wou.edu\/westernhowl\/?p=9712"},"modified":"2019-02-27T23:29:20","modified_gmt":"2019-02-28T07:29:20","slug":"this-week-in-completely-made-up-horoscopes-10","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/wou.edu\/westernhowl\/this-week-in-completely-made-up-horoscopes-10\/","title":{"rendered":"This week in completely made up horoscopes"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"<\/p>\n

[fruitful_tabs type=”accordion” width=”100%” fit=”false”]<\/span><\/p>\n

[fruitful_tab title=”Aries 3\/21-4\/19″] Everyone else may be cold, but you\u2019re the smart one staying warm because you still haven\u2019t put your Christmas sweaters away yet. [\/fruitful_tab]<\/span><\/p>\n

[fruitful_tab title=”Taurus 4\/20-5\/20″] Sorry the stars abandoned you for so long. We thought you\u2019d be okay on your own, but I guess not. [\/fruitful_tab]<\/span><\/p>\n

[fruitful_tab title=”Gemini 5\/21-6\/20″] The stars predict that you will come across a large sum of money this week. Like 50 or 60 cents or something. [\/fruitful_tab]<\/span><\/p>\n

[fruitful_tab title=”Cancer 6\/21-7\/22″] What did you do without me? Telling you what to expect from your life every week? Maybe that\u2019s what I was telling you… [\/fruitful_tab]<\/span><\/p>\n

[fruitful_tab title=”Leo 7\/23-8\/22″] The Kool-Aid Man has some beef with chicken strips. [\/fruitful_tab]<\/span><\/p>\n

[fruitful_tab title=”Virgo 8\/23-9\/22″] Ok if we don\u2019t get at least one more snow day this term the stars will literally throw a fit. Not cool, weather. Not cool. [\/fruitful_tab]<\/span><\/p>\n

[fruitful_tab title=”Libra 9\/23-10\/22″] Sorry, the stars are closed today due to snow. [\/fruitful_tab]<\/span><\/p>\n

[fruitful_tab title=”Scorpio 10\/23-11\/21″] Burn it down, Scorpio. BURN IT DOWN. [\/fruitful_tab]<\/span><\/p>\n

[fruitful_tab title=”Sagittarius 11\/22-12\/21″] You can sleep when you\u2019re dead, Sagittarius. Deal with it. [\/fruitful_tab]<\/span><\/p>\n

[fruitful_tab title=”Capricorn 12\/22-1\/19″] SNOW! AHHHHHH!!11!!1! [\/fruitful_tab]<\/span><\/p>\n

[fruitful_tab title=”Aquarius 1\/20-2\/18″] I\u2019m sorry, the stars are currently too busy to deal with your problems\u2026 please leave your message after the beep. [\/fruitful_tab]<\/span><\/p>\n

[fruitful_tab title=”Pisces 2\/19-3\/20″] A bean walks into a room. It\u2019s actually a cat. Interesting. Don\u2019t judge a word by its letterS, Y\u2019ALL. [\/fruitful_tab]<\/span><\/p>\n

[\/fruitful_tabs]<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

[fruitful_tabs type=”accordion” width=”100%” fit=”false”] [fruitful_tab title=”Aries 3\/21-4\/19″] Everyone else may be cold, but you\u2019re the smart one staying warm because you still haven\u2019t put your Christmas sweaters away yet. [\/fruitful_tab] [fruitful_tab title=”Taurus 4\/20-5\/20″] Sorry the stars abandoned you for so long. We thought you\u2019d be okay on your own, but I guess not. [\/fruitful_tab] [fruitful_tab […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1094,"featured_media":9000,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","_lmt_disableupdate":"","_lmt_disable":"","_et_pb_use_builder":"","_et_pb_old_content":"","_et_gb_content_width":"","footnotes":"","_links_to":"","_links_to_target":""},"categories":[25],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-9712","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-humor"],"modified_by":"The Western Howl","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/wou.edu\/westernhowl\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9712","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/wou.edu\/westernhowl\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/wou.edu\/westernhowl\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wou.edu\/westernhowl\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1094"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wou.edu\/westernhowl\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=9712"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/wou.edu\/westernhowl\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9712\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wou.edu\/westernhowl\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/9000"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/wou.edu\/westernhowl\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=9712"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wou.edu\/westernhowl\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=9712"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wou.edu\/westernhowl\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=9712"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}